Tuesday, July 03, 2007

The Ten (+2) commandments to act important at the work-place

I cannot use simple words from Greek and Latin for nuts. So my commandments will be in plain English…

  1. You shall always enter the floor with animated business conversations over the phone…
    …fighting with your spouse over the phone is easier than fighting with them in person…
  2. You will monitor all documents on your computer screen closely…
    … lest you miss out on reading any forwards in your mail-box…
  3. You shall get your coffee to your desk…
    … sitting in your chair and browsing the net with a coffee in hand is a true pleasure…
  4. You will always have a busy look on your face…
    … tracking India’s dismal performance in cricket, my stock performance in the BSE and completing all the household chores is no mean task…
  5. You shall not answer calls in the first ring ever…
    … that display name does not say “Aishwarya Rai” right?...
  6. You will be seen in intense business discussions with your boss…
    … it is better to fight out all salary issues right up-front…
  7. You shall call for frequent meetings…
    … it is so tough to act busy sitting in one place the whole of the day…
  8. You shall always have a note-book in hand wherever you go…
    … What good are meetings for anyway if you can’t doodle your way to glory…
  9. You shall talk the loudest during conference calls…
    … you need to talk at some point in time to justify your earnings for the day…
  10. You shall always go home late despite whatever little work you may have…
    … cause your spouse may not appreciate your listening to music, reading novels and playing tetris on the comp. at home…

Two bonus commandments...

  1. You will call your team mates late in the night for business reasons…
    … this is one quality of your boss that you can imitate…
  2. You will program your outlook to forward official mails after you sleep off…
    … the psyching feeling of their boss awake so late in the night for work is really chilling for the team…
Any more commandments may be added in the comments section...

2 comments:

VV said...

Thats really well written. Good one.

Chaeli said...

People should read this.

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