Saturday, November 02, 2013

Top 5 Facebook status messages - Explained!

1. Anyone around in New York? - Don't bother to comment on my update. I have already messaged those that I want to meet. Others, take a hike. I am only putting this on my status message so I can brag that I am visiting the US of A. 

2. Here's another cool looking photo via Instagram on my iPhone 5s using iOS 7 - It's just a photo of some cow eating grass. But I made sure that I made it so yellow that you will think that the cow and the grass are in some sexy place. And incase you didn't notice, I just spent my last month's salary and decided to postpone my kid joining school to ensure I got the latest device in town. 

3. Restaurant sucks, never dare enter - they didn't give me the freebies they had given last time. And they made me wait for 5 minutes. I am out to screw their reputation since that makes me sleep well at night, not like I care a damn. I was certainly in the best of moods when I entered that place. If only I had half a decent experience I would have certainly put that up also on social media. Let this angst now spread like wildfire so it becomes viral and I get some semi celebrity status. 

4. Team India congrats! - Defeating Australia in one of those million inconsequential matches is such a great feat. I am just putting it up in case you didn't catch it on TV or FM or the million cricket sites. I am so happy with the result that I am going to crazily 'like' every status message that congratulates my team. And hey those that support one of those obscure teams in some American game followed by only you, don't bother posting about some colored footwear. 

5. 2nd Mumbai marathon done - Not bad did 0.01 seconds better than last time. I feel so hot now putting this on FB. So macho. And... So sweaty.  I am out of deodorant. Can you get me some please? This is in case you didn't heed my previous requests when I integrated FB with my running app or my cycling app. 

Any more obvious ones missed?

Friday, March 01, 2013

8 Lessons from my 8-month old

My daughter is 8 months old as of yesterday.
I love her a lot. And thank her for sharpening my following 8 skills. 

Patience: She can be cranky. She can be crying. Time is the only winner. Usually.
Appreciation: Moms are the greatest. Period. And credit too to the entire support crew.   
Time Management: She has no plans. You better have one to work around it.
Inquisitiveness: Everything is new for her. It will be for you too. If you are ready to see it that way.  
Effort: Some activities just need to be done hourly or daily. Sustained effort is the only choice.  
Nuances: Small things bring them tons of happiness. You realize there is so much more to life. 
Clown faces: You will dance. You will make faces. You will do anything so you can see her laugh.
Energetic: She is a bundle of energy many a time. You will become one at all times.

What are the lessons your infant has taught you!?

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Top 5 side effects of Yahoo! 'No WFH' policy

Marissa Mayer's new 'No Work from Home' policy for Yahoo! has been creating news for the right and wrong reasons. Here's a list of the top 5 side effects on the tech world - 

1. Facebook cancels Yahoo! deal given lesser time spent by Yahoo! employees
2. Microsoft threatens search deal cancellation since Skype has not yet made itself useful for in-person meetings
3. Yahoo! search shows a drastic % increase in traffic courtesy employees who don't want to be seen using Google
4. There is widespread hatred for the free Android phones and iPhones given the default ring tones that have been going on all day in office
5. Foodspotting traffic quantity spikes up courtesy mass consumption of free food; traffic quality deteriorates given same 5 items are being photographed from every angle every day!

Any more, kindly share in the comments :)

Disclaimer: I am an ex-Yahoo! and this is just in jest :) And largely fictional!

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Happy New Year. To Her.

Hope you have finished your party and your beer,
Cause it's time to take a pledge for the Girl so dear.
Be on the lookout and lend an ear, so the rogues live with fear,
A grassroots fight in high gear, to root out the evil here.
In colleges, streets and buses if the scoundrels jeer, leer or come near
Shout out, slap them and give a strong kick up their rear.
Time to unite and fight, time to stop shedding a tear,
With respect for the Lady, let's welcome a happy new year...
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