Saturday, November 26, 2011

Why Ravichandran Ashwin did not take the final run...



By now, everyone and their grandmother have shouted at our poor Ashwin for not attempting the 2nd run in the final test against the West Indies. Ashwin has been having a hard time defending himself on Twitter (you should never do that since it's filled with morons)

Experts have quickly come to his rescue by analyzing the reasons behind the decision to not go for the 2nd. As a Tam Brahm, these reasons have not come as a surprise to me at all. After all, these are ingrained in every one of us - in our actions and in our value systems...
  1. Very early on, we are taught by our parents to be good to our guests after you have gotten what you want. We should share our chocolate (after your 2-3 chocolates). And never be too greedy for anything (publicly at least). When India had already won the test and he was a sure-shot man of the match (with a 5-wicket haul and a 100 to boot) and man of the series, it was time to share the spoils. 
  2. Our granddad and dad swear by Malcolm Marshall, Michael Holding, Vivian Richards and the likes. Given their love for West Indian cricket and the abysmal position it is in today, there is a high chance that he was bombarded by calls from appa, peripa, chitappa, thatha, thatha's brother etc. the previous night to take it easy with them.  
  3. In Chennai street cricket, you don't run much. Specially if you are his size. You hit your runs in fours and sixes. In school cricket, more so, since you have to stand in the Madras summer heat for a full day. Hence preserving energy is of utmost importance. Running the 2nd is not a default action that our mind understands. And most importantly, it was the last ball of the over, and we love our 'over-gaji' (though it does not hold good in the last over)  
  4. Ashwin has just gotten married. Which means he has found a girl. At the age of 25. That is just plain rare! The probability of him meeting her at a puja at home is close to 95%. Given how difficult it is for us to interact with girls, the probability that he prayed to God during that puja that he will sacrifice something soon in return for her hand is close to 105%. And sacrifice he did, an inconsequential match... 
  5. Last but not the least, we are brought up on curd rice - a high quantity of which he would have had during lunch-time given the other dish which was 'Gobi Manchurian' resembled something chicken. And his recent marriage means he has had food at his in-laws place just before the match started. With this kind of a gastronomic background, it is not fair to expect him to run so much. And at such a crucial time.   
  6. UPDATE: A bonus one that was earlier missed - the 'poonal' certainly got in the way while running around!
 Now that these reasons are well established, experts believe that these nonsense accusations will die down soon and sanity will prevail...

P.S1: the above is just for arbit fun. He deserved his MoM and MoS. All those who are stupidly shouting around can seriously shut up given the match would have been long lost if not for his contributions.  

P.S2: Image courtesy - www.sportinglife.com 
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