The Indian cricket team in an IT company

After the extremely dismal performance in the world cup, our cricket team is back and cooling its heels amidst stone and tomato throws at them and their houses. Let us look at a hypothetical situation where this Indian cricket team is recruited into any IT company… The following article looks at the different characters we have in the team and how well they fit into the different roles and people that any IT company services would have!

• Sehwag: Kicked around resource - Was moved around in six different roles in one year to give an indication that he improve his work or quit; Has lost a lot of hair in moving around the different jobs but it has still not got into his head to go and find a different job.
• Tendulkar: Technical Career Path (TCP) Member - Long-time member of “Tendulkar Cricketing Path (TCP)” which is very strong on paper but is very weak practically; High time something is done to also show results practically else at least the hype around the whole path can be reduced.
• Dravid: MBA grad - He is the front face of the team and talks very well but actually does not have a clue what to do with the team; Is the wall of the team many times in client facing roles abroad and has helped the team conquer a lot of foreign lands
• Laxman: Module leader – Too slow to run and do any work and typically watches from one end as associates come deliver their work from the other end and go; Stays on till the end but does not seem to do any useful work.
• Ganguly: Company alumnus – Was a bad performer initially, got the message, quit and went off somewhere else before returning soon at a higher post and much better pay and recognition for a perceivably higher value though the quality of work was how it should be for anyone part of the team.
• Kaif & Raina: Forced Attrition - Got two consecutive lowest appraisal ratings after miserable performances over lengthy times and have been kicked out of the company.
• Dinesh Karthick: Fresh trainee - All enthusiastic after topping college and performing very well in all entry trainee tests and is also shining in his first project.
• Zaheer Khan: Onsite return - Pretty useless initially at offshore and was hence packed off to onsite but has now returned and is working with fresh vigor after having faced solid bashing by client at onsite.
• Irfan Pathan: Rejected trainee - Rejected after the training program on account of extremely pathetic performance even in the training grounds leave alone actual projects and hence sent back to college to re-learn his fundamentals.
• Anil Kumble – The typical IT company technical associate – The old warhorse of the whole team and keeps fighting in all encounters year after year despite win or loss however old he gets; Signifies the true fighting spirit of the team always… But has now retired after being dumped all work as well as the blame when things didnt go well.
• Harbhajan Singh – Offshore great but onsite hate – Has performed splendidly at home turf winning a lot for the team but then performs so poorly at client site that he’d rather never be shown in front of the client and better left at offshore.

Others

• Greg Chapell: Project Manager – Talks a lot and promises a lot but when it comes to final delivery has a special knack of goofing up. Realized that he was going to be fired for the huge goof-up and so put in his papers immediately!
• Krishnamachari Srikanth: Quality Group Member – Analyzes every bit to the utmost unnecessary level of detail and is very good at finding fault with everything…

Any more of our Indian players that you can think of in such situations, do post in the comments!!!