Arbit thoughts - The earphones / cell charger problem

How many times has this happened to you - you are in the middle of a fantastic song on your earphones and for some reason your one ear has turned deaf.

Of course, it is not your ear but your earphones that are creating the effect of the temporary muteness.

Your analytical mind gets into action to find the specific cause of the earphones not working. It is like being in a dream all gone wrong - instead of pinching yourself to check if you are awake, you start pinching the earphones at various places to check what the cause of the problem is. Is it the point where it connects to the device, or the place where it branches off into two wires or right at the end where the confluence of the earphones with your ears happens.

Immediately after identifying the cause, you try your skills at geo-positioning that part of the phones. Various angles and positions are tried until that one in a million position is conquered.

And you emerge with a sense of great achievement. And a notion of happiness that you don't need to send it for repair...

Only till the person sitting next to you knocks you on your shoulder to check on what song you are listening to. And then the whole process starts again...

The problem also manifests itself when you connect your phone charger to your phone. Similar techniques are followed there as well.

Arbit thoughts - Kids and trains

What is it about kids and trains that defeats all laws of probability - the chance of finding a crying kid in the same train as oneself is always 100 percent!

Crying kids have a knack of shouting at the highest possible pitch, for the longest possible duration and still maintain their sweet innocence. This is certainly not advised for adults though.

A kid's crying has a great social networking effect as well - there is always some other kid that takes its cue from the crying kid and starts off on another track. When they criss-cross each other's path during their crying, various ragas and alapanas can be deciphered.

There is also kumbakarna's third law of sleep intervention that applies here - a crying child will momentarily stop crying to give you a slight belief that you can finally sleep. But right after you do start your nap, the crying is louder than ever before.

Parents of course try their best but they typically add to the kid's reasons for crying! So next time, you should never try to frighten a kid to stop it from crying. Remember the sight of a crying child can frighten a sleepy you much more!

Arbit thoughts - The inseparable mobile phone

What is it with mobile phones that make us always look at them? While talking. While walking. While driving.

It is as though the entire world is calling out to you with the most important of messages. Specially so when you are on the back of a scooter, or talking to a friend at home, or sitting and eating at restaurant.

Why is it that in the middle of any such activity, there seems to be an extra sense of urgency to look longingly at the phone? Maybe people actually have their talking script typed out as a message on it...

Or is it that touching the phone gives people the satisfaction of ensuring that the phone's karma for the next half hour is taken care of? The fast moving hand trying to unlock the phone. Followed by a mildly dejected look at the absence of a message. And the same fast moving hand locking the phone to put it gently back to sleep.

A friend told me the other day that his spouse has started responding to the phone more than him! So if he has to call out to her in the next room, a phone call has a better chance of getting through than his voice!

Mobile payments have replaced the wallet. Wonder when mobile lipstick and mobile combs are going to replace the other accessories that unnecessarily take up pocket and handbag space...

That time is not too long away - when you are mobile, the mobile might be the only thing on you!

If 'Mile Sur Mera Tumhara' were remade today...

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara - This is a song from the 80s Doordarshan that no one from our generation would forget. But to make it relevant to the current school-going generation, there may have to be some changes done to the song. And some things, that just should not change even today. And certainly, there might be some surprise elements too…

5 things that would change

• The song would start with a white and white clad A R Rahman with long tresses and waving hands
• Instead of people ploughing their land or going in tractors, people coding in software companies and watching a rocket take off from Sriharikota would be highlighted
• The Delhi Metro, Virender Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir would replace the Calcutta underground and its host of personalities
• The next generation of Hindi cinema would take over from their parents or predecessors – the 3 Khans instead of the Amitabh / Mithun / Jeetendra trio, Deepika instead of Prakash Padukone, Kajol instead of Tanuja, and so on.
• The waving well-lit cell-phone with different color displays would replace the people running in at the end of the song to form our flag
  

5 things that would NOT change

• Bollywood and cricket would forever be the passions of our country and act as the anchors for the song
• The Taj Mahal, Goa beach, Dal Lake, Punjab greens, Thar Desert, The Indian Railways, Elephants in Kerala etc. would continue as the icons of India
• The traditional serene village lands and people of the North east have hardly changed
• Kamalhassan, Amitabh Bhachan, etc. may be old but are still gold and would appear in the song even today
• Lata Mangeshkar would still sing the song
  

5 things that one would NOT be surprised if were introduced

• One representative from every political party would find a place in the song, with a specially constructed statue of Mayawati at the start of the song
• Microsoft & Google chiefs and Barack Obama would do a round of thanks to India for offering to be the source of their company’s and country’s brains
• A rich suit-clad man and a beggar look at the Bombay Stock Exchange longingly
• The attire of the stars in the song would use lesser cloth and more skin show than the traditional saree of yesteryears
• Raakhi Sawant and to-be-husband from the reality show as well as a host of dancing, singing, and doing-anything for fame folks from all the junk reality shows make an appearance in the song
  

And before signing off, the original song itself...

Tam Brahms: We are like this wonly - Mind It!

Times are changing. And so is the Tam Brahm race. As the world graduates to Facebook and online dating, Obama and soccer, we are also changing.

At least on the face of it!

Inherently, we won’t! And we can’t… The top 5 indications for this follow…

1. Façade: We have started naming our kids Amit / Abhishek trying to make their names look more cosmopolitan.
   Fact: For every 1 Amit, there are still 99 names with a Balaji or a Sriram or a Subramaniam (with variations of n or m to end the word!) or Vidya or Ramya…
   
   
2. Façade: We love eating pizzas and butter naans, albeit in Saravana Bhavan!
   Fact: That, and we also still love our puliyodharai from Parthasarathy Swamy Temple, specially standing twice in the queue with a changed outfit to fool the distribution point of contact, or the curd rice from Anjaneya temple (we can bring the aavakkai pickle in our pocket)
   
   
3. Façade: We always seem to determine the raga behind any song, including a Led Zeppelin hard rock number.
   Fact: We feign knowledge of Carnatic music while all we have ever learnt is Violin or Mrudangam during a compulsory 40 minutes-per-week art education class till the 7th Std. in school!
   
   
4. Façade: We have our representations in varied industries including cinema, music, literature, sport etc.
   Fact: We still swear and die by an IIT or BITS engineering degree and an MS from the US! It is another thing that we drop all of it to get into some software job or an MBA!
   
   
5. Façade: We network actively through Orkut and Facebook and find matches through online dating.
   Fact: A lot of the match making happens courtesy our friendly neighbourhood mama and mami in house functions and temple visits! And the groom typically works in the US or has some connection with IT!
   

Any more, feel free to add to the comments...