Arbit thoughts - The inseparable mobile phone

What is it with mobile phones that make us always look at them? While talking. While walking. While driving.

It is as though the entire world is calling out to you with the most important of messages. Specially so when you are on the back of a scooter, or talking to a friend at home, or sitting and eating at restaurant.

Why is it that in the middle of any such activity, there seems to be an extra sense of urgency to look longingly at the phone? Maybe people actually have their talking script typed out as a message on it...

Or is it that touching the phone gives people the satisfaction of ensuring that the phone's karma for the next half hour is taken care of? The fast moving hand trying to unlock the phone. Followed by a mildly dejected look at the absence of a message. And the same fast moving hand locking the phone to put it gently back to sleep.

A friend told me the other day that his spouse has started responding to the phone more than him! So if he has to call out to her in the next room, a phone call has a better chance of getting through than his voice!

Mobile payments have replaced the wallet. Wonder when mobile lipstick and mobile combs are going to replace the other accessories that unnecessarily take up pocket and handbag space...

That time is not too long away - when you are mobile, the mobile might be the only thing on you!

If 'Mile Sur Mera Tumhara' were remade today...

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara - This is a song from the 80s Doordarshan that no one from our generation would forget. But to make it relevant to the current school-going generation, there may have to be some changes done to the song. And some things, that just should not change even today. And certainly, there might be some surprise elements too…

5 things that would change

• The song would start with a white and white clad A R Rahman with long tresses and waving hands
• Instead of people ploughing their land or going in tractors, people coding in software companies and watching a rocket take off from Sriharikota would be highlighted
• The Delhi Metro, Virender Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir would replace the Calcutta underground and its host of personalities
• The next generation of Hindi cinema would take over from their parents or predecessors – the 3 Khans instead of the Amitabh / Mithun / Jeetendra trio, Deepika instead of Prakash Padukone, Kajol instead of Tanuja, and so on.
• The waving well-lit cell-phone with different color displays would replace the people running in at the end of the song to form our flag
  

5 things that would NOT change

• Bollywood and cricket would forever be the passions of our country and act as the anchors for the song
• The Taj Mahal, Goa beach, Dal Lake, Punjab greens, Thar Desert, The Indian Railways, Elephants in Kerala etc. would continue as the icons of India
• The traditional serene village lands and people of the North east have hardly changed
• Kamalhassan, Amitabh Bhachan, etc. may be old but are still gold and would appear in the song even today
• Lata Mangeshkar would still sing the song
  

5 things that one would NOT be surprised if were introduced

• One representative from every political party would find a place in the song, with a specially constructed statue of Mayawati at the start of the song
• Microsoft & Google chiefs and Barack Obama would do a round of thanks to India for offering to be the source of their company’s and country’s brains
• A rich suit-clad man and a beggar look at the Bombay Stock Exchange longingly
• The attire of the stars in the song would use lesser cloth and more skin show than the traditional saree of yesteryears
• Raakhi Sawant and to-be-husband from the reality show as well as a host of dancing, singing, and doing-anything for fame folks from all the junk reality shows make an appearance in the song
  

And before signing off, the original song itself...

Tam Brahms: We are like this wonly - Mind It!

Times are changing. And so is the Tam Brahm race. As the world graduates to Facebook and online dating, Obama and soccer, we are also changing.

At least on the face of it!

Inherently, we won’t! And we can’t… The top 5 indications for this follow…

1. Façade: We have started naming our kids Amit / Abhishek trying to make their names look more cosmopolitan.
   Fact: For every 1 Amit, there are still 99 names with a Balaji or a Sriram or a Subramaniam (with variations of n or m to end the word!) or Vidya or Ramya…
   
   
2. Façade: We love eating pizzas and butter naans, albeit in Saravana Bhavan!
   Fact: That, and we also still love our puliyodharai from Parthasarathy Swamy Temple, specially standing twice in the queue with a changed outfit to fool the distribution point of contact, or the curd rice from Anjaneya temple (we can bring the aavakkai pickle in our pocket)
   
   
3. Façade: We always seem to determine the raga behind any song, including a Led Zeppelin hard rock number.
   Fact: We feign knowledge of Carnatic music while all we have ever learnt is Violin or Mrudangam during a compulsory 40 minutes-per-week art education class till the 7th Std. in school!
   
   
4. Façade: We have our representations in varied industries including cinema, music, literature, sport etc.
   Fact: We still swear and die by an IIT or BITS engineering degree and an MS from the US! It is another thing that we drop all of it to get into some software job or an MBA!
   
   
5. Façade: We network actively through Orkut and Facebook and find matches through online dating.
   Fact: A lot of the match making happens courtesy our friendly neighbourhood mama and mami in house functions and temple visits! And the groom typically works in the US or has some connection with IT!
   

Any more, feel free to add to the comments...

Top 10 new advertising slots in IPL

DLF Maximum. Citi Moment of Success. Etc. Etc. The IPL organizers are getting queries from new advertisers increasingly for more ad slots. So they have decided to take every inch of space available on the ground, on the players' bodies and in the spectator area to create the following 10 new brand associations -

• Colgate smile - Players who have hit a 4 or a 6 or a 50, or bowlers who have taken a wicket need to smile with all their teeth; Such a moment is called a Colgate smileeeeeeeee; If a player does not smile or he does not brush his teeth before the match, he is fined 20% of his match fee.
  
• VIP underwear knockout - Since every other part of the player's attire is taken, all teams will introduce a Superman-type dress code where the underwear would be worn over the trousers; Bowlers get bonus points for hitting that area, and such a delivery is called a VIP knockout ball.
• New York Mutual Life Insurance - Whenever the balls goes to the cover region, the commentator claims that it was 'absorbed' by the NYML cover. Future regions on the ground include Veet fine leg etc.
• Jet Frequent Flier - The bowler who gives the maximum number of DLF maximums is called the Jet Frequent Flier...
  
• Kellogs Breakfast - Every time a break ends before the 1st ball of the next over starts, such sympathetic breaks are brought to you by Kellogs Break'fast'
• Kiwi polish ball - The shiny new white ball will be branded as "brought to you by Kiwi polish" with the black bird image; if the Newzealanders take offence, they will be asked to shine all balls using natural means.
• Sony Music Bhangra Special appeal - Bowlers and fielders who raise an appeal for a dismissal have to instantly break into a Bhangra number (both hands pointing towards the sky) with constant shouting and dancing; umpire would be giving out only if he is impressed with the dance.
  
• Tata Steel helmet - A "T" symbol painted on the batsman's helmet grill, if he does not wear a helmet, the symbol will be painted on his nose; If the ball passes through the grill and breaks the player's nose, player says Tata / Bye Bye to his IPL.
• Five Star Fruit & Nut - Bollywood stars who are being shown on TV whenever their team is playing - The players of the star's team are total fruits while the star is a complete nut.
  
• Dev D Extra Inning - For the 'Emotional Atyachaar' song...In honor of what Mr. Samir Kochar and Arun Lal commit every day.

Any more such innovative brand associations, please use the comments section...

The Indian Revolution - Part 1

“I shall hold my country in the highest esteem. I shall never take a single paisa more than what I earn as my salary. I shall make it the best place on this earth to live in, for all on this earth. Women, children and men of all caste, creed, sect, language, race, religion will have equality in every single aspect of their life in our country. If ever me or any of our party members fail to uphold any of the above, that person will bow down in front of the Indian democracy and forfeit their position immediately. In the next five years, we shall make India the best country in the world where poverty, illiteracy, disease, pollution, discrimination and corruption are only found in the dictionary.”

One could hear huge cheers from across the country. The speech had been delivered by the 32 year-old prime minister of India. Translators were busy on their job converting the speech to the various languages for the millions of people who had tuned into the speech to listen. Every medium in the country - from radio to TV to cinema halls to the modern man's internet was beaming the live speech.

32-year old PM! The youngest ever in the country… Just two days back, the revolution was complete. The “Youth of Utopia” (YOU) with the guidance of the “Wise Elderly” (WE) had come to power.

Yes – YOU were in power. And that was a cause for major celebration for the people. The people, who had for so long demanded a clean and young government that could realize the true potential of the great country of India. One that could get India get out of its bottom 150+ position in the “place to live in” index and would catapult it to the top 5.

It had not been an easy path for them. They had slogged it out for the last 5 years against the might of the established parties and their goondas, against the money of the corrupt, against the mindsets of people from the deepest of village and against their own self-apprehensions. But the group of 545 people with the support of over 50000 educated youngsters and 5000 generous elders accomplished what none had even dreamed of before.

And to think it all started with a message some had put on one of those many social networks...

To Continue…

Dated
15 / 08 / 2???

Disclaimer: Whether the above is fictional or not is for the public to decide…