Top 5 Facebook status messages - Explained!

1. Anyone around in New York? - Don't bother to comment on my update. I have already messaged those that I want to meet. Others, take a hike. I am only putting this on my status message so I can brag that I am visiting the US of A. 

2. Here's another cool looking photo via Instagram on my iPhone 5s using iOS 7 - It's just a photo of some cow eating grass. But I made sure that I made it so yellow that you will think that the cow and the grass are in some sexy place. And incase you didn't notice, I just spent my last month's salary and decided to postpone my kid joining school to ensure I got the latest device in town. 

3. Restaurant sucks, never dare enter - they didn't give me the freebies they had given last time. And they made me wait for 5 minutes. I am out to screw their reputation since that makes me sleep well at night, not like I care a damn. I was certainly in the best of moods when I entered that place. If only I had half a decent experience I would have certainly put that up also on social media. Let this angst now spread like wildfire so it becomes viral and I get some semi celebrity status. 

4. Team India congrats! - Defeating Australia in one of those million inconsequential matches is such a great feat. I am just putting it up in case you didn't catch it on TV or FM or the million cricket sites. I am so happy with the result that I am going to crazily 'like' every status message that congratulates my team. And hey those that support one of those obscure teams in some American game followed by only you, don't bother posting about some colored footwear. 

5. 2nd Mumbai marathon done - Not bad did 0.01 seconds better than last time. I feel so hot now putting this on FB. So macho. And... So sweaty.  I am out of deodorant. Can you get me some please? This is in case you didn't heed my previous requests when I integrated FB with my running app or my cycling app. 

Any more obvious ones missed?