Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Top 5 side effects of Yahoo! 'No WFH' policy

Marissa Mayer's new 'No Work from Home' policy for Yahoo! has been creating news for the right and wrong reasons. Here's a list of the top 5 side effects on the tech world - 

1. Facebook cancels Yahoo! deal given lesser time spent by Yahoo! employees
2. Microsoft threatens search deal cancellation since Skype has not yet made itself useful for in-person meetings
3. Yahoo! search shows a drastic % increase in traffic courtesy employees who don't want to be seen using Google
4. There is widespread hatred for the free Android phones and iPhones given the default ring tones that have been going on all day in office
5. Foodspotting traffic quantity spikes up courtesy mass consumption of free food; traffic quality deteriorates given same 5 items are being photographed from every angle every day!

Any more, kindly share in the comments :)

Disclaimer: I am an ex-Yahoo! and this is just in jest :) And largely fictional!


Sunny said...

Haha. Here's 5 more

- People leave Yahoo in hoards. Monday evening traffic jams originating at EGL stretches to Tuesday morning, Beijing. Yahoo accidentally creates Time travel.

- People leave Yahoo in hoards. And heads to drinking joints to drown sorrow. Reaches there by 10.30 PM due to point #1. By which time, police close down bars. Thereby spawning Dial-a-beer-in-the-car deal sites. Yahoo accidentally monetizes Indian e-commerce.

- People leave Yahoo in hoards. They figure out that getting out of EGL is hopeless. Walks over to MSFT, Amazon and hazaar other companies in EGL. Yahoo accidentally makes refer-a-friend-and-win-a-phone scheme successful. Nokia wins.

-People leave Yahoo in hoards. Sarjapur IT is hiring in hoards. Yahoo proves that economists got demand-supply right all along. Said people discovers Sarjapur IT is just as bad. Joins back Yahoo. Yahoo also proves that law of thermodynamics is wrong. Yahoo spawns new science.

-People leave Yahoo in hoards. Remaining folks suffer from withdrawal and loneliness. Someone in HR suggests an offsite to increase morale and to encourage people stay back in office. Agenda : Discover the diamond in your cubicle. Yahoo accidentally crosses path with Arindam. KaBOOOM.

Unknown said...

Yahoo has to urgently order office furniture from online furniture retailers like Urban Ladder to seat all the extra employees...

Shefali Tripathi Mehta said...

(y) hilarious! the 'sunny' comment too :)

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