Why Ravichandran Ashwin did not take the final run...

By now, everyone and their grandmother have shouted at our poor Ashwin for not attempting the 2nd run in the final test against the West Indies. Ashwin has been having a hard time defending himself on Twitter (you should never do that since it's filled with morons)

Experts have quickly come to his rescue by analyzing the reasons behind the decision to not go for the 2nd. As a Tam Brahm, these reasons have not come as a surprise to me at all. After all, these are ingrained in every one of us - in our actions and in our value systems...

1. Very early on, we are taught by our parents to be good to our guests after you have gotten what you want. We should share our chocolate (after your 2-3 chocolates). And never be too greedy for anything (publicly at least). When India had already won the test and he was a sure-shot man of the match (with a 5-wicket haul and a 100 to boot) and man of the series, it was time to share the spoils. 
2. Our granddad and dad swear by Malcolm Marshall, Michael Holding, Vivian Richards and the likes. Given their love for West Indian cricket and the abysmal position it is in today, there is a high chance that he was bombarded by calls from appa, peripa, chitappa, thatha, thatha's brother etc. the previous night to take it easy with them.  
3. In Chennai street cricket, you don't run much. Specially if you are his size. You hit your runs in fours and sixes. In school cricket, more so, since you have to stand in the Madras summer heat for a full day. Hence preserving energy is of utmost importance. Running the 2nd is not a default action that our mind understands. And most importantly, it was the last ball of the over, and we love our 'over-gaji' (though it does not hold good in the last over)  
4. Ashwin has just gotten married. Which means he has found a girl. At the age of 25. That is just plain rare! The probability of him meeting her at a puja at home is close to 95%. Given how difficult it is for us to interact with girls, the probability that he prayed to God during that puja that he will sacrifice something soon in return for her hand is close to 105%. And sacrifice he did, an inconsequential match... 
5. Last but not the least, we are brought up on curd rice - a high quantity of which he would have had during lunch-time given the other dish which was 'Gobi Manchurian' resembled something chicken. And his recent marriage means he has had food at his in-laws place just before the match started. With this kind of a gastronomic background, it is not fair to expect him to run so much. And at such a crucial time.   
6. UPDATE: A bonus one that was earlier missed - the 'poonal' certainly got in the way while running around!

 Now that these reasons are well established, experts believe that these nonsense accusations will die down soon and sanity will prevail...

P.S1: the above is just for arbit fun. He deserved his MoM and MoS. All those who are stupidly shouting around can seriously shut up given the match would have been long lost if not for his contributions.  

P.S2: Image courtesy - www.sportinglife.com 

30 Things you should know about a Tamil Wedding Reception

1. One amongst the couple is a foreign-settled expat that has come to India to tie the knot.
2. The match has been made courtesy bharatmatrimony.com or better still, tamilmatrimony.com. If not, the guy saw the girl at some religious function at home.
3. The wedding is scheduled a few days before the start of the ‘no-good thing can be done’ Margazhi month.
4. The gift you should buy is one amongst a million clocks at the nearest gift shop or a coupon from any Lifestyle.
5. If you are confused between wearing a formal dress and a traditional South Indian one, always choose a kurta-jeans combo! The groom will probably be wearing a glossier version of the same. Or a Raymond's suit.
   
6. Don’t drive past the reception hall if you see different names outside. South Indians have more name aliases than the number of fake IDs you had during chat-room and Orkut days.
7. Chennai autos usually charge triple the regular fare. For reception hall areas, it goes up to multiples of 5. So taking the car is a better option.
8. The car park will have 1/10^th the size that is actually required to hold the crowd. People who think they are clever by coming in late always end up having to park the car a few streets away.
9. The invitees typically include family, friends, friends of family, family of friends, random maamas and maamis and so on and so forth.
10. You should neither land up too early (as you might be asked to do some work) nor too late (it might be too obvious that you have just come for the food)
11. The bride and groom will always land up 45 minutes after the time that is printed on the invitation. If you want to one-up them, land 1 hour later.
12. The practice of giving some sugar candy and sprinkling rose water is passé. Don’t be perturbed about abandoned front benches with the designated folks munching some bhelpuri in a corner.
13. If you have a sweet tooth, it is a good time to stuff it in. Use the sugar at the front-bench to good effect.
14. You could also steal the rose water sprinkler from the front-bench and provide some laughs to the gang by sprinkling it on unsuspecting maamas and maamis while you are seated.
15. You will always end up meeting one maama or maami who will question you about things that you don’t want to answer.
16. You will occasionally meet a childhood friend that you never cared about at school but have to act as if you were only thinking about them all these years.
17. You will meet a good looking girl that you once had a crush on, but is now wearing a 9-yard saree to cover the triple-layer fat that she has put on after delivering 3 babies.
18. While waiting to meet the couple, you will be served one of two juices – pineapple or grape. The only binding factor is the throat ache and/or cold that you have afterwards.
19. The queue to meet the couple is longer than the one at the American consulate in Chennai.
20. A good way to beat the queue is to know one of the parents well enough; there will be a lot of elders who flout the queue, don’t let your tempers flare!
21. When you meet the couple, they will have an artificial smile, and always utter the same two phrases – ‘Thanks for coming’, and ‘Please have food and go’.
22. ‘Best of Luck’ is an accepted wish. In addition to wishing someone before their exams and Formula-1 races, it can also be mouthed at couples starting their journey into marital bliss.
23. Prior to meeting the couple, decide on whether you will pose for the photo camera or the video camera – the two people who handle it will fight to their death over who gets your attention.
24. The live music concert will have a pair of twins singing. Where cost cutting has been employed, you will listen to pre-recorded ‘heavy’ music. There will always be a few elders who feign Carnatic music knowledge parked in the front seats.
25. If you want first choice of all the buffet items, go in early for the food. The later you get in, the more the number of missing items from the menu.
26. The buffet will have a panneer gravy dish, Gobi Manchurian dry, bisibele bath, dosa, bhel-puri and ice-cream (over and above a million other cross-country, multi-colored oily dishes). Don’t waste time on the sambhar, rasam, salads etc. that you can get for less than 20 bucks at the restaurant outside the hall. Whatever you eat, curd rice is a must at the end of it all.
27. There will be a mom holding out an ice-cream for her son as if his life depended on eating it. The son has gotten his hands so messed up with eating the other buffet items. Requesting for a finger bowl at the end of the buffet is not encouraged!
28. After food, you feel obligated to stay longer to appease your friend. The bride and groom don’t care less. So you can actually leave anytime you want after the food.
29. While going out, you will need to compulsorily carry back home the useless bag that has one coconut and some betel leaves; if you don’t, you will offend the elders around.
30. After coming back home, you are within your rights to think that Tamil receptions are the most boring events ever and curse yourself for missing the IPL match…

Any more must-knows, kindly add them in the comments section...

The Srilankan Cricket team inside a Tamil love story...

Overheard, a proposition, from Sekar (our hero), a pakka namma Chennai youth, trying to seduce Jaya (our heroine), a Madras baashai KD girl from Gummidipoondi...

S: Hi sexy girl, naan thaan sekar... Autokaara Sekar..
J: Vanakkam Ba. Naan thaan jaya, thotti jaya... Matter sollu...
S: Vandhu, ... Adhu Vandhu....
J: Ada, chattu puttu nu sollu da badhil shani yane...
S: Mudhalla... indhaanga poo, mothama arali tharen ungalukku... evalvu poo paarunga...
J: Cha nalla set malliga poo thara maata...
S: Adutha dhaba tharen... Naan vandhu ungala loves pannrenga...
J: Adada, enna loves pannrathukkellam oru thagudhi venum pa... Inna vandi otra nee?
S: Auto... Share auto...
J: Thoo share auto va...
S: Appadi korachu eda podadheenga. Unga mela total feelings nga, neruppu mela sathiyama...
J: Neruppu nu sonna thaan nyabagam vardhu, Kannu dham beedi etha pudippiya...
S: Cha cha, andha bad habits laan kadayaadhu...
J: Cha waste ba nee...
S: Naan waste a irukkalam, aana haste a decision edukkaadheenga...
J: Indha maari dialogue vittu nenjaya soriyariyepa...
S: Karpu god ram oda wife sita mela promise, en love no galeej and tremendous...
J: Cha, indha kosu tholla thaanga mudiyala pa...
S: Aan chellam mat use pannriya...
J: Dei unna thaan da sonnen...
S: Last and final time, kenji ketkaren... Emma, Ela, Jaya, Vardhaane ennoda...
J: Dei kulla sekara, ingendhu joot vidu, illa unna naalu kummu arai En sanga kaarana kudukka solluven...
S: OK saari. Next meet pannren... Vartaa....

And that is how the short love story between Jaya and Sekar ended...

Supporting Cast
dhil shan = Tilakaratne Dilshan
mothama arali tharen = Muthiah Muralitharan
la set malliga = Lasith Malinga
Thoo share = Thilan Thushara
Kannu dham bee = Thillina Kandamby
jaya soriya = Sanath Jayasuriya
Karpu god ra = Chamara Kappugedera
ej and tremendous = Ajantha Mendis
Aan chellam mat use = Angelo Mathews
ma, Ela, Jaya, Vardhaane = Mahela Jayawardane
kulla sekara = Nuwan Kulashekara
kummu arai En sanga kaarana = Kumara Sangakkara, the captain

Tam Brahms: We are like this wonly - Mind It!

Times are changing. And so is the Tam Brahm race. As the world graduates to Facebook and online dating, Obama and soccer, we are also changing.

At least on the face of it!

Inherently, we won’t! And we can’t… The top 5 indications for this follow…

1. Façade: We have started naming our kids Amit / Abhishek trying to make their names look more cosmopolitan.
   Fact: For every 1 Amit, there are still 99 names with a Balaji or a Sriram or a Subramaniam (with variations of n or m to end the word!) or Vidya or Ramya…
   
   
2. Façade: We love eating pizzas and butter naans, albeit in Saravana Bhavan!
   Fact: That, and we also still love our puliyodharai from Parthasarathy Swamy Temple, specially standing twice in the queue with a changed outfit to fool the distribution point of contact, or the curd rice from Anjaneya temple (we can bring the aavakkai pickle in our pocket)
   
   
3. Façade: We always seem to determine the raga behind any song, including a Led Zeppelin hard rock number.
   Fact: We feign knowledge of Carnatic music while all we have ever learnt is Violin or Mrudangam during a compulsory 40 minutes-per-week art education class till the 7th Std. in school!
   
   
4. Façade: We have our representations in varied industries including cinema, music, literature, sport etc.
   Fact: We still swear and die by an IIT or BITS engineering degree and an MS from the US! It is another thing that we drop all of it to get into some software job or an MBA!
   
   
5. Façade: We network actively through Orkut and Facebook and find matches through online dating.
   Fact: A lot of the match making happens courtesy our friendly neighbourhood mama and mami in house functions and temple visits! And the groom typically works in the US or has some connection with IT!
   

Any more, feel free to add to the comments...

SWOT Analysis of Chennai

Any report as part of B school (or even outside of it) starts generally with a `Strengths - Weaknesses - Opportunities - Threats` analysis of the system / situation. Chennai has turned out to be one of the biggest IT services hubs in the world, leave alone India. There are a lot of other interesting things in the city too! In the following post, I have attempted to do a SWOT Analysis of our good old Chennai city. Please do post in your comments on any of the items I may have missed out!

It is very easy to list the A-Z of the city in such a post but I stuck to A-F instead! (I mean, literally!) You will soon see and realize what I am talking about…

Strengths
(1) Amma, Appa, Akka, Anna – The conservative family culture still lingers on. Even when you are married, the “sambhar saadham + thayir saadham” that you have at your parents’ home on a Sunday afternoon is always delicious…
(2) Beach: Thenga, maanga, pattani, sundal on a cold evening in the beach is a must for any romantic dude out there…
(3) Carnatic Music: The December season where people wake up early despite the classic one-off climate to listen to the likes of Unnikrishnan, Jesudas, Bombay Jayashree etc.
(4) Dining: Hogging away to glory in one of the many new restaurants is a real must. Also see attached a compilation of some of the best dining places in the vicinity -
(5) Engineering: From ABCD to XYZ engineering college, you have all the options of pursuing everything from stitching clothes to breaking open an aeroplane! All of them may not be great but there are certainly some very good ones such as IIT, MIT, Anna University, SVCE etc.
(6) Foren Opportunities: It is probably one of the best connected places to foren lands including the USA and SE Asia. The number of Srirams and Subramaniams you find in a S/W company in the states is enormous!

Weaknesses
(1) Auto: The lesser said the better… Generally recognized as the primary villain of the city.
(2) Big brother attitude: The moral policing by the political bigwigs and some nonsensical people etc. make you feel as though whatever you are doing is watched by a big brother up there with a stick in hand.
(3) Climate: As everyone says, its Hot, Hotter and Hottest in Chennai with the occasional spells of rain that somehow always land up around Diwali time.
(4) Dhadi Pasanga: Goondas that roam around with the political bigwigs give you a feel of those evil creatures from Lord of the Rings!
(5) Entertainment Options: Or the lack of it – You have Satyam, Spencers and Mayajal to count an exact number of 3 options in the name of “entertainment”
(6) ‘Figure’ative Speech: With a deliberate spelling mistake… I can't and don't want to elaborate on this more :-) !!!

Opportunities
(1) Assembly Lines: Hyundai, Ford, Nokia shall soon be followed by the likes of BMW, Motorola and God knows who else.
(2) Bunch of S/W folks: Is a huge growing market for selling everything from trendy phones to toothpicks!
(3) Culture: The traditional and conservative culture that still exists makes 30-somethings in the US come back home to raise their kids.
(4) Divinity: As the gateway to the South, Chennai, and specially the surrounding districts have a reasonable number of very old temples to attract visitors!
(5) Education: Many people move in from up North as well as from the states since the basic schooling here is very good – some of the best computer education CBSE schools are based out of here! Chennai always seems to top in the Std. X and XII CBSE exams!
(6) Filmy Duniya: Some of the best artistes in acting, music, cinematography, dance and direction are based out of Chennai! If they can put their minds together, they may put up something worthy of the Oscars (some day!)

Threats
(1) Ayyo Amma: This obviously does not refer to any individual amma but you know who...
(2) Baashai: The love for the language has its negative connotations many a time in the form of arguments in Tamil with non-Tamils to increase BP levels of the listener.
(3) Cheri – The tamil word for slums: They are anywhere and everywhere and government turning a blind eye to them means they get a free hand to disrupt traffic and play jarring music aloud!
(4) Dressing Sense: The hopeless jeans-chappals combinations of the average male and the highly arbitrary colored chudidhaars of our females may give competition to many! But Chennai does have a great saree collection!
(5) Expenditure: Spending on infrastructure is so poor (except for the long overdue IT Highway) that the whole city has taken a big hit and every nook and corner has started witnessing a traffic jam.
(6) Filth: Despite Onyx and the likes, the levels of “kuppai” at various parts in the city is increasing alarmingly. If something is not done about the same, it will become a breeding ground for not just chicken guniya mosquitoes but many more such varieties.

Would be interesting to see similar SWOT analysis for other cities as well...