A Happy 2014

A happy 2014 starts with a pun,
Let this one have many a resolution.
Wake up early to the morning sun,
A dose of good health with a daily run.
Eat fresh from the oven but cut the cream bun,
A job with passion, there's a ton to learn.
Don't see your phone when with daughter or son,
A goodnight kiss to your loved hon'
TV, travel or reading for a dollop of fun,
A chat with an old friend, nostalgic a ton!  
Sleep well after the day's done,
Here's to 2014, live life like none!

Top 5 Facebook status messages - Explained!

1. Anyone around in New York? - Don't bother to comment on my update. I have already messaged those that I want to meet. Others, take a hike. I am only putting this on my status message so I can brag that I am visiting the US of A. 

2. Here's another cool looking photo via Instagram on my iPhone 5s using iOS 7 - It's just a photo of some cow eating grass. But I made sure that I made it so yellow that you will think that the cow and the grass are in some sexy place. And incase you didn't notice, I just spent my last month's salary and decided to postpone my kid joining school to ensure I got the latest device in town. 

3. Restaurant sucks, never dare enter - they didn't give me the freebies they had given last time. And they made me wait for 5 minutes. I am out to screw their reputation since that makes me sleep well at night, not like I care a damn. I was certainly in the best of moods when I entered that place. If only I had half a decent experience I would have certainly put that up also on social media. Let this angst now spread like wildfire so it becomes viral and I get some semi celebrity status. 

4. Team India congrats! - Defeating Australia in one of those million inconsequential matches is such a great feat. I am just putting it up in case you didn't catch it on TV or FM or the million cricket sites. I am so happy with the result that I am going to crazily 'like' every status message that congratulates my team. And hey those that support one of those obscure teams in some American game followed by only you, don't bother posting about some colored footwear. 

5. 2nd Mumbai marathon done - Not bad did 0.01 seconds better than last time. I feel so hot now putting this on FB. So macho. And... So sweaty.  I am out of deodorant. Can you get me some please? This is in case you didn't heed my previous requests when I integrated FB with my running app or my cycling app. 

Any more obvious ones missed?

8 Lessons from my 8-month old

My daughter is 8 months old as of yesterday.
I love her a lot. And thank her for sharpening my following 8 skills. 

Patience: She can be cranky. She can be crying. Time is the only winner. Usually.
Appreciation: Moms are the greatest. Period. And credit too to the entire support crew.   
Time Management: She has no plans. You better have one to work around it.
Inquisitiveness: Everything is new for her. It will be for you too. If you are ready to see it that way.  
Effort: Some activities just need to be done hourly or daily. Sustained effort is the only choice.  
Nuances: Small things bring them tons of happiness. You realize there is so much more to life. 
Clown faces: You will dance. You will make faces. You will do anything so you can see her laugh.
Energetic: She is a bundle of energy many a time. You will become one at all times.

What are the lessons your infant has taught you!?

Top 5 side effects of Yahoo! 'No WFH' policy

Marissa Mayer's new 'No Work from Home' policy for Yahoo! has been creating news for the right and wrong reasons. Here's a list of the top 5 side effects on the tech world - 

1. Facebook cancels Yahoo! deal given lesser time spent by Yahoo! employees
2. Microsoft threatens search deal cancellation since Skype has not yet made itself useful for in-person meetings
3. Yahoo! search shows a drastic % increase in traffic courtesy employees who don't want to be seen using Google
4. There is widespread hatred for the free Android phones and iPhones given the default ring tones that have been going on all day in office
5. Foodspotting traffic quantity spikes up courtesy mass consumption of free food; traffic quality deteriorates given same 5 items are being photographed from every angle every day!

Any more, kindly share in the comments :)

Disclaimer: I am an ex-Yahoo! and this is just in jest :) And largely fictional!

Happy New Year. To Her.

Hope you have finished your party and your beer,
Cause it's time to take a pledge for the Girl so dear.
Be on the lookout and lend an ear, so the rogues live with fear,
A grassroots fight in high gear, to root out the evil here.
In colleges, streets and buses if the scoundrels jeer, leer or come near
Shout out, slap them and give a strong kick up their rear.
Time to unite and fight, time to stop shedding a tear,
With respect for the Lady, let's welcome a happy new year...

2012-a very happy new year

Hello Girls & Boys... I am Writing Song...
2011 was'sup song... 2012's welcome pop song...

Why this kolaveri song'gu hit'tu dee? (4)

Internet'tu Youtube'u Youth'u...
Youth'u Share'u Tune'u...
Tune'u background lyrics'u music'cu
Music'cu super'ru nice'cu...
That's why this kolaveri song'gu hit'tu dee.... (2)

White'u dress'su anna hazare...
Hazare hear'tu lokpal'lu...
Congress'u Congress'u Meet'tu Meet'tu...
India future'u dark'ku...
That's why this kolaveri song'gu hit'tu dee.... (2)

Mama Raja eduthukko
Apdiye Kaila Kanimozhi eduthuko

Papapa Papapapa Papapa Pa Pa
Kambi Ennu...

Super Mama Ready, 1 2 3 4...

What a Change Over Mama..
Ok Mama... Now Tune Change'u...

Kaila World Cup'pu... Only English'a...

Hand'la World Cup'pu...
Cup'pu la Indian Team'mu...
Eyes'u Full'a Tear'ru..

Empty Life'u, Girl Come'u,
Bhacchan Family Cheer'ru...

Love'vu Love'vu English Love'vu
Royal Wedding (V)Wow'vu...

Kavvu Kavvu, Manna Kavvu...
Gaddafi Osama Bow'u!

God, Steve Jobs Dying Now'vu
You are Happy How'vu?

This'su song'gu for 2012'u....
We do have choice'su...

Happy new year'ru new year'ru now'vu...
Exciting things are always'su in tow'vu...
Let this year bring'gu lots of love'vu...
Happy new year'ru once again'nu now'vu...

Why Ravichandran Ashwin did not take the final run...

By now, everyone and their grandmother have shouted at our poor Ashwin for not attempting the 2nd run in the final test against the West Indies. Ashwin has been having a hard time defending himself on Twitter (you should never do that since it's filled with morons)

Experts have quickly come to his rescue by analyzing the reasons behind the decision to not go for the 2nd. As a Tam Brahm, these reasons have not come as a surprise to me at all. After all, these are ingrained in every one of us - in our actions and in our value systems...

1. Very early on, we are taught by our parents to be good to our guests after you have gotten what you want. We should share our chocolate (after your 2-3 chocolates). And never be too greedy for anything (publicly at least). When India had already won the test and he was a sure-shot man of the match (with a 5-wicket haul and a 100 to boot) and man of the series, it was time to share the spoils. 
2. Our granddad and dad swear by Malcolm Marshall, Michael Holding, Vivian Richards and the likes. Given their love for West Indian cricket and the abysmal position it is in today, there is a high chance that he was bombarded by calls from appa, peripa, chitappa, thatha, thatha's brother etc. the previous night to take it easy with them.  
3. In Chennai street cricket, you don't run much. Specially if you are his size. You hit your runs in fours and sixes. In school cricket, more so, since you have to stand in the Madras summer heat for a full day. Hence preserving energy is of utmost importance. Running the 2nd is not a default action that our mind understands. And most importantly, it was the last ball of the over, and we love our 'over-gaji' (though it does not hold good in the last over)  
4. Ashwin has just gotten married. Which means he has found a girl. At the age of 25. That is just plain rare! The probability of him meeting her at a puja at home is close to 95%. Given how difficult it is for us to interact with girls, the probability that he prayed to God during that puja that he will sacrifice something soon in return for her hand is close to 105%. And sacrifice he did, an inconsequential match... 
5. Last but not the least, we are brought up on curd rice - a high quantity of which he would have had during lunch-time given the other dish which was 'Gobi Manchurian' resembled something chicken. And his recent marriage means he has had food at his in-laws place just before the match started. With this kind of a gastronomic background, it is not fair to expect him to run so much. And at such a crucial time.   
6. UPDATE: A bonus one that was earlier missed - the 'poonal' certainly got in the way while running around!

 Now that these reasons are well established, experts believe that these nonsense accusations will die down soon and sanity will prevail...

P.S1: the above is just for arbit fun. He deserved his MoM and MoS. All those who are stupidly shouting around can seriously shut up given the match would have been long lost if not for his contributions.  

P.S2: Image courtesy - www.sportinglife.com 

30 Things you should know about a Tamil Wedding Reception

1. One amongst the couple is a foreign-settled expat that has come to India to tie the knot.
2. The match has been made courtesy bharatmatrimony.com or better still, tamilmatrimony.com. If not, the guy saw the girl at some religious function at home.
3. The wedding is scheduled a few days before the start of the ‘no-good thing can be done’ Margazhi month.
4. The gift you should buy is one amongst a million clocks at the nearest gift shop or a coupon from any Lifestyle.
5. If you are confused between wearing a formal dress and a traditional South Indian one, always choose a kurta-jeans combo! The groom will probably be wearing a glossier version of the same. Or a Raymond's suit.
   
6. Don’t drive past the reception hall if you see different names outside. South Indians have more name aliases than the number of fake IDs you had during chat-room and Orkut days.
7. Chennai autos usually charge triple the regular fare. For reception hall areas, it goes up to multiples of 5. So taking the car is a better option.
8. The car park will have 1/10^th the size that is actually required to hold the crowd. People who think they are clever by coming in late always end up having to park the car a few streets away.
9. The invitees typically include family, friends, friends of family, family of friends, random maamas and maamis and so on and so forth.
10. You should neither land up too early (as you might be asked to do some work) nor too late (it might be too obvious that you have just come for the food)
11. The bride and groom will always land up 45 minutes after the time that is printed on the invitation. If you want to one-up them, land 1 hour later.
12. The practice of giving some sugar candy and sprinkling rose water is passé. Don’t be perturbed about abandoned front benches with the designated folks munching some bhelpuri in a corner.
13. If you have a sweet tooth, it is a good time to stuff it in. Use the sugar at the front-bench to good effect.
14. You could also steal the rose water sprinkler from the front-bench and provide some laughs to the gang by sprinkling it on unsuspecting maamas and maamis while you are seated.
15. You will always end up meeting one maama or maami who will question you about things that you don’t want to answer.
16. You will occasionally meet a childhood friend that you never cared about at school but have to act as if you were only thinking about them all these years.
17. You will meet a good looking girl that you once had a crush on, but is now wearing a 9-yard saree to cover the triple-layer fat that she has put on after delivering 3 babies.
18. While waiting to meet the couple, you will be served one of two juices – pineapple or grape. The only binding factor is the throat ache and/or cold that you have afterwards.
19. The queue to meet the couple is longer than the one at the American consulate in Chennai.
20. A good way to beat the queue is to know one of the parents well enough; there will be a lot of elders who flout the queue, don’t let your tempers flare!
21. When you meet the couple, they will have an artificial smile, and always utter the same two phrases – ‘Thanks for coming’, and ‘Please have food and go’.
22. ‘Best of Luck’ is an accepted wish. In addition to wishing someone before their exams and Formula-1 races, it can also be mouthed at couples starting their journey into marital bliss.
23. Prior to meeting the couple, decide on whether you will pose for the photo camera or the video camera – the two people who handle it will fight to their death over who gets your attention.
24. The live music concert will have a pair of twins singing. Where cost cutting has been employed, you will listen to pre-recorded ‘heavy’ music. There will always be a few elders who feign Carnatic music knowledge parked in the front seats.
25. If you want first choice of all the buffet items, go in early for the food. The later you get in, the more the number of missing items from the menu.
26. The buffet will have a panneer gravy dish, Gobi Manchurian dry, bisibele bath, dosa, bhel-puri and ice-cream (over and above a million other cross-country, multi-colored oily dishes). Don’t waste time on the sambhar, rasam, salads etc. that you can get for less than 20 bucks at the restaurant outside the hall. Whatever you eat, curd rice is a must at the end of it all.
27. There will be a mom holding out an ice-cream for her son as if his life depended on eating it. The son has gotten his hands so messed up with eating the other buffet items. Requesting for a finger bowl at the end of the buffet is not encouraged!
28. After food, you feel obligated to stay longer to appease your friend. The bride and groom don’t care less. So you can actually leave anytime you want after the food.
29. While going out, you will need to compulsorily carry back home the useless bag that has one coconut and some betel leaves; if you don’t, you will offend the elders around.
30. After coming back home, you are within your rights to think that Tamil receptions are the most boring events ever and curse yourself for missing the IPL match…

Any more must-knows, kindly add them in the comments section...

10 signs that you should run away from a restaurant

Have you ever entered a new restaurant in two minds? Whether to risk it and have food there. Or run away at the slightest hint... Here are 10 signs that should force you to do the latter -

1. Valet parking guys are fighting amongst themselves to take your car; for all you know, they might have to wait many days for the next customer
   
2. There is a longer queue to the restroom than to the restaurant
3. The number of waiters is greater than the number of people eating in the restaurant; also - a few of them are having their own joke after seeing you come in while the others are busy fetching parcels from the opposite restaurant
   
4. The perfume smell is awesome; however it is not emanating from the non-bathed rich folks but from the room freshener used to remove the food stink
   
5. The ambience is confusing and shady - the walls have too many paintings to cover the cracks, or there are too many coochie-cooing couples with hardly any food in their plates, or the customers look like goondas from a Rajini movie
6. The phone is continuously ringing but the answerer asks for the person to come the next day, to collect his money
   
7. Instead of music, you can hear a soft prayer, from those eating the food
   
8. You are confused if the bowl that went past was a soup bowl or a finger bowl
9. The menu serves both Idli and Chinese Noodles
10. People are congregating in the center of the table, emptying their wallets, watches and chains to pay the bill

Anything more, add in the comments section!

10 things you should stop doing on Facebook

Now that everyone and their grandfather is on Facebook, you should stop doing the following things on this social network. Only because they have been used, misused and overused to death. Here's the list...

1. The 'Dfghsjfldjf' status message - For God's sake, lock your phone. Or stop giving it to your kid.
   
2. 'Go Knicks!' - You American sport aspirational fanatic who needs to desperately shed the 'desi' image, stop bothering the common man cricket fans.
   
3. '#fb' at the end of your status - Hello Twitter folks! Lazy bums. Can't you use Twitter and FB for different things please?
   
4. 'Copy paste this to show your...' - We know beyond that, you never did anything for that cause. (A variation of this is the paranoia message saying Facebook has changed some privacy setting and confusing the heck out of people)
   
5. Talking about your FB usage - Do you ever go to office and tell folks around you 'I am not working enough'? Same with FB, you don't have to put a status saying you are not using FB as much as you used to.
   
6. Liking your own comment - Losers! An alternate ploy is to pay someone else to do this if no one else genuinely wants to like your comments (Another version of this is plugging in your own blog, which will certainly happen for this one too)
   
7. Use that friend finder - Everyone who bothers about you or you bother came into FB donkey's years ago.
   
8. Tagging a million arbit ppl in a photo - Just because you want everyone to look at that photo, which has you and your dog probably, don't go on into one tagging spree.
   
9. Putting your baby photo as your display pic - That display pic is also for your friends to quickly scan the feed and check updates. We can't differentiate between one baby and another. You have an infinite-capacity photo album waiting to put your baby photos.
   
10. Complete albums with no captions - For this one reason, 'Select All' should be banned. You get to see 5 versions of every single photo - each having different exposures of your teeth. And worst of all, absolutely no context to any image.
    

Any more such trends, please leave it on the comments!

2010 Bye, 2011 Hi...

A for Ayodhya, verdict pronounced...
B for the BP Oil Spill, company denounced.
C for Chennai Super Kings, all else trounced,
D for Dabangg, Salman and Chulbul bounced...

E for Endhiran, Rajini the super-star,
F for Facebook, age no bar.
G for Grandslam, Nadal the czar...
H for Haiti quake, contributions from far.

i for iPad, a new tech trend,
J for Jyoti Basu, met his end.
K for Katrina, Sheila made you bend...
L for Lalit Modi, Tharoor no more a friend.

M for marriage, Sania Shoaib surprise.
N for Nithyananda, and his vice.
O for the Onion Price Rise.
P for Pacman, decades surpassed thrice!

Q for queues at airports, ash snow got under the skin...
R for the rascals, Raja Kalmadi and their kin...
S for Spain and the world cup win,
T for Tendulkar, a double ton well within!

U for US President, reception like a king...
V for Vuvuzelas and their sting.
WXYZ are too tough to rhyme anything...
Welcome an Xcellent Year 2011 with a Zing!

10 reasons why eating in a buffet is similar to playing cricket

Yes. A pretty vague comparison. But if you look at it in-depth, you will realize that going for a team buffet is very similar to playing a cricket match. And here’s why…

	In cricket...	In a buffet…
1	The team-split between batsmen, bowlers and all-rounders	The split is between grass-eating veggies and non-veggies who only eat something that walks, crawls, swims or flies on earth. The fence-sitters are the ones who hog on both well enough.
2	The Abdomen Guard	Your guard is a paper towel – used around the same area to ensure that you are not mistaken for having an awry bathroom break
3	Taking stance to observe the field	Doing a quick survey of what food is present in the buffet so you can plan accordingly
4	The cautious opening to not lose your wicket	Ensuring you don’t eat only the starters and fill your stomach
5	Running the quick singles but saving energy with boundaries	Taking quick trips to take any good item twice but stocking up on two big plates so you don’t have to leave your seat often
6	Placing in the gaps for maximum benefit	Ensuring the correct distribution of food in the stomach so it can take in more
7	The bonus free hit	The complimentary mock-tail that is thrown in sometimes
8	The slog overs before the innings-end	The dessert round where you go for the kill because the buffet is going to end
9	The commentators. And the general public	The been-there-done-that folks who have already visited the restaurant passing expert comments on the food! And those ala-carte folks who are sitting around you passing comments on your eating capacity.
10	The umpire who finally gives you out	The waiter who gives you the bad news in the form of the bill

Any more similarities, please ensure you update them in the comments section...

Diwali Wishes...

Alpha beta gamma,
We might be hosting Obama...

Theta Delta Epsilon,
Rain or shine shall pile on...

Kappa Lambda Mu,
Firecrackers, sweets and dresses new...

Sigma Rho Phi,
Diwali wishes and happiness sky high...

Omega Psi Chi,
Celebrated best at Chennai :)

The 10 types of people attending a lecture

In any lecture or speech or workshop, you can typically identify 10 types of people who are attending it (other than the speaker himself / herself). Check out which of the following you fall under -

1. The organizer - He is the one who introduces the speaker. And of course gives the vote of thanks, which however different or humorous he tries to make it, always consists of the same words. All eyes are usually turned on him when he announces where the snacks / lunch would be served.
2. The sleeper - Afternoons (and many times, mornings) evoke a special kind of reaction from him. One moment, he would have been the most vocal guy. But two minutes later, he would just doze off with an appreciative nod. Advanced sleepers also take a pen and act as if they are writing while busy engaging in playing mind games inside Level 3 of Inception.
3. The foodie - He comes to these workshops to hog on the nice cookies, the coke (and / or diet coke) cans, the Bisleri water bottles, and the special lunches. The organizer does not have to worry about food being wasted since the foodie usually compensates for up to 3 absentees. Taking more desserts than allocated is his USP!
4. The silent nodder - The very serious looking guys for whom a smile is worth more than their life... They intersperse their boring existence with appreciative nods towards only the speaker. You could be pardoned in thinking they ignore everyone else.
5. The class participation (CP) expert - All pent-up words come out of their mouth when they enter the lecture / workshop room. They touch upon history, geography, biology and mathematics before they come to their actual point.
6. The dumb question irritator - A special version of the CP guy is the one who only asks questions to which everyone including his grandma know the answer to. These questions are deliberately planted so that the speaker reduces his / her charge for the workshop given the company has to make do with such low IQ levels.
7. The good point accumulator - Another variation of the CP expert is the one who gets silly pleasures in being applauded on another 'good point' by the speaker. They keep count of how many times their points have been validated as 'good' by the speaker and put the number on their resume.
8. The laptop exhibitor - This guy has a perennial appointment with Microsoft Outlook during the course of the workshop. It is another matter that he is looking at interesting forwards from friends than any office mail.
9. The phone-call attender - Even if he usually gets only 1 call every week, his phone never stops ringing just during the duration of the speech / workshop. The ring-tones start with a loud one, then change to a Nokia / Blackberry default tune and end on an irritating vibration note. On an average, they do about 10 trips out of the room though hidden cameras point to 6 of them being toilet visits.
10. The cross-talker - They like laughing, poking, hair-pulling, farting, and general chit chat, specially when the speaker is in the middle of something important. As soon as the primary job of distracting the audience and the speaker is accomplished, they immediately become the most attentive listeners.
    

Am sure all of us hop into one or more of the above over time :) Any more, kindly add in the comments...

(P.S: For simplicity sake, have used a 'he' in all places, also applies equally well for a 'she')

Then versus Now - The top 10 differences

1. Something plugged into your ears indicated you were deaf, not listening to an mp3 player
2. 'Social network' meant something to do with USSR, India's biggest ally
3. You needed advanced computer skills to transfer a file > 1.44 MB
4. 'Gay' was just a simple synonym of happy
   
5. Using the phone would utmost cause blisters, not cancer due to hidden rays
   
6. 'Channel 2' or 'Second channel' always implied only one thing
7. Colored-clothing cricket indicated a major world cricket tournament, not Ind vs. SL again
   
8. Kissing a girl on the February 14th got the same tight slap
   
9. If you had a Maruti car, you were 'different' from those that had Fiat or Ambassador
   
10. Work from home meant you were out of a job...

Any other ones, please post them in the comments section...

How Rajinikanth controls the forces of nature

(Click on the picture to view enlarged image)

An ode to Chennai Super Kings

Chennai Super Kings...
The whole city sings,
Cause you do great things...
As the yellow midnight rings!

To the year when everyone else we thulp...
In your presence all others gulp...
Cause they know you shall turn them to pulp...
A spectacular year with a double IPL and CL wallop...

The best local team,
The Indian superstars as the beam...
The outsiders on top as cream,
Together ensuring we never run out of steam!

Raina can swat but Vijay for the golden bat...
In the middle they chat, bowlers run off like a rat.
Murali just behind, Ashwin for the golden wicket..
To batsmen, they give you your pavilion ticket.

When Dougie hits the stump, the sweet sound,
Badri and Hussey the dependable, Albie all round!
Jakati Balaji Anirudh, confidence new-found...
Kemp and Hayden can pound anything out of the ground.

Dhoni you are always chill...
Forever your support we will.
To sign off we shall put the whistle...
Ending a night for world-over Tamilian thrill!!!

When internet searching becomes faster...

Google (or Bing or Yahoo!) probably add a few more servers now and then to make internet searching much faster (read today's announcement by Google here)

This is the mental model that I get whenever this happens :)

Why companies want employees driving through traffic...

Click on the picture to zoom in and see why...

10 types of lunch-eaters at your office canteen

Whenever you walk into your office canteen, you are faced with hundreds of people eating away to glory. If you notice carefully, these people usually fall into 10 different buckets that are described as follows -

1. The solitary man: He has a very serious expression on his face. Or is mostly expression-less. The food is either very little - so he can finish fast and get the hell out of the lonely place. Or is a lot, and that is precisely the reason why he is sitting alone, so others don't make fun of him.
   
2. The 'different' folks: They are the ones who do two or three rounds of the regular canteen. And then go order a sandwich in the side shop since they don't seem to like any food. It is usually the necessity to be high on the 'being different' coefficient that makes them pay half their salary on outside-canteen food.
3. The giggly girls: You feel that this gang is laughing about anyone and everyone that goes past them. In reality, they just have a disease. To keep giggling at everything. And make loud noises to announce their presence to the entire canteen.
4. The bosses: Bosses are of two types, ones that sit far away from anyone except their peers and discuss global company strategy or the state of the Indian economy. The other type is of course the ones who utilize lunch as an opportunity to socialize with their next rung, only the next rung utilize it as a chance to put in class-participation and pain the hell out of everyone else in the table.
5. The dabba-walas: These are the home-food specialists for whom canteen food spells doom, or they have a spouse who forces them to take the home food. The dabba-wala folks follow a pre-defined process which consists of 4 steps -(i) Heat up the food in the micro-wave (ii) Utilize the plate from the office canteen (iii) Pick out the choice delicacies from the canteen food to go with their own house food (iv) Sit down like true kings who have the best of both worlds and hog away.
   
6. The dieters: These are the people where the empty area on the plate shines from afar. The quantity of food taken puts baby food to shame. Reasons include hidden lumps of junk food in their cupboards, failure to understand a concept called 'exercise' or the long length of the weight-reduction prescriptions prescribed by the doctor.
7. The treat-givers: This is the noisy gang that has ordered pizzas from Dominos as a treat for someone leaving the company! (enjoyment for the person surely) The ratio of veg to non-veg is always a point debated for close to an hour. Finally when the pizza lands, everyone wants to dig their hands into as many different boxes as possible. They never realize that the pizza folks have fooled them into believing they are different pizzas by altering the amount of the same toppings.
8. The silent couple: This can be a newly formed romantic pair or a husband-wife combo that has been working in the company for dogs' years. 'Silence is golden' is a rule that is tried and tested. Since they have too much to talk back home or over the phone, they hardly make anything other than gestures during lunch time.
9. The intellectual marathon: Heated conversations happen in a few tables. This heated conversation can be about a game of sport or about who will be the new boss. Opinions and counter-opinions are exchanged in the middle of gulping down parathas or curd rice. The ones that are most vocal are usually the least knowledgeable (applies in generic circumstances too)
   
10. The big gang: This gang roams around the entire office, always sticking it up for one another. The 'gang' laughs together, cries together, takes food together, washes together (their hands) and makes a hell lot of noise together. The gang usually has more girls than guys. The gang's loud-mouths sit at the extremes of the table so that everyone else can hear them talk. The gang is usually made up of a mix of all of the above types of people...

Any other types you have encountered, please add them to the comments section...