Tam Brahms: We are like this wonly - Mind It!

Times are changing. And so is the Tam Brahm race. As the world graduates to Facebook and online dating, Obama and soccer, we are also changing.

At least on the face of it!

Inherently, we won’t! And we can’t… The top 5 indications for this follow…

1. Façade: We have started naming our kids Amit / Abhishek trying to make their names look more cosmopolitan.
   Fact: For every 1 Amit, there are still 99 names with a Balaji or a Sriram or a Subramaniam (with variations of n or m to end the word!) or Vidya or Ramya…
   
   
2. Façade: We love eating pizzas and butter naans, albeit in Saravana Bhavan!
   Fact: That, and we also still love our puliyodharai from Parthasarathy Swamy Temple, specially standing twice in the queue with a changed outfit to fool the distribution point of contact, or the curd rice from Anjaneya temple (we can bring the aavakkai pickle in our pocket)
   
   
3. Façade: We always seem to determine the raga behind any song, including a Led Zeppelin hard rock number.
   Fact: We feign knowledge of Carnatic music while all we have ever learnt is Violin or Mrudangam during a compulsory 40 minutes-per-week art education class till the 7th Std. in school!
   
   
4. Façade: We have our representations in varied industries including cinema, music, literature, sport etc.
   Fact: We still swear and die by an IIT or BITS engineering degree and an MS from the US! It is another thing that we drop all of it to get into some software job or an MBA!
   
   
5. Façade: We network actively through Orkut and Facebook and find matches through online dating.
   Fact: A lot of the match making happens courtesy our friendly neighbourhood mama and mami in house functions and temple visits! And the groom typically works in the US or has some connection with IT!
   

Any more, feel free to add to the comments...

Top 10 new advertising slots in IPL

DLF Maximum. Citi Moment of Success. Etc. Etc. The IPL organizers are getting queries from new advertisers increasingly for more ad slots. So they have decided to take every inch of space available on the ground, on the players' bodies and in the spectator area to create the following 10 new brand associations -

• Colgate smile - Players who have hit a 4 or a 6 or a 50, or bowlers who have taken a wicket need to smile with all their teeth; Such a moment is called a Colgate smileeeeeeeee; If a player does not smile or he does not brush his teeth before the match, he is fined 20% of his match fee.
  
• VIP underwear knockout - Since every other part of the player's attire is taken, all teams will introduce a Superman-type dress code where the underwear would be worn over the trousers; Bowlers get bonus points for hitting that area, and such a delivery is called a VIP knockout ball.
• New York Mutual Life Insurance - Whenever the balls goes to the cover region, the commentator claims that it was 'absorbed' by the NYML cover. Future regions on the ground include Veet fine leg etc.
• Jet Frequent Flier - The bowler who gives the maximum number of DLF maximums is called the Jet Frequent Flier...
  
• Kellogs Breakfast - Every time a break ends before the 1st ball of the next over starts, such sympathetic breaks are brought to you by Kellogs Break'fast'
• Kiwi polish ball - The shiny new white ball will be branded as "brought to you by Kiwi polish" with the black bird image; if the Newzealanders take offence, they will be asked to shine all balls using natural means.
• Sony Music Bhangra Special appeal - Bowlers and fielders who raise an appeal for a dismissal have to instantly break into a Bhangra number (both hands pointing towards the sky) with constant shouting and dancing; umpire would be giving out only if he is impressed with the dance.
  
• Tata Steel helmet - A "T" symbol painted on the batsman's helmet grill, if he does not wear a helmet, the symbol will be painted on his nose; If the ball passes through the grill and breaks the player's nose, player says Tata / Bye Bye to his IPL.
• Five Star Fruit & Nut - Bollywood stars who are being shown on TV whenever their team is playing - The players of the star's team are total fruits while the star is a complete nut.
  
• Dev D Extra Inning - For the 'Emotional Atyachaar' song...In honor of what Mr. Samir Kochar and Arun Lal commit every day.

Any more such innovative brand associations, please use the comments section...

The Indian Revolution - Part 1

“I shall hold my country in the highest esteem. I shall never take a single paisa more than what I earn as my salary. I shall make it the best place on this earth to live in, for all on this earth. Women, children and men of all caste, creed, sect, language, race, religion will have equality in every single aspect of their life in our country. If ever me or any of our party members fail to uphold any of the above, that person will bow down in front of the Indian democracy and forfeit their position immediately. In the next five years, we shall make India the best country in the world where poverty, illiteracy, disease, pollution, discrimination and corruption are only found in the dictionary.”

One could hear huge cheers from across the country. The speech had been delivered by the 32 year-old prime minister of India. Translators were busy on their job converting the speech to the various languages for the millions of people who had tuned into the speech to listen. Every medium in the country - from radio to TV to cinema halls to the modern man's internet was beaming the live speech.

32-year old PM! The youngest ever in the country… Just two days back, the revolution was complete. The “Youth of Utopia” (YOU) with the guidance of the “Wise Elderly” (WE) had come to power.

Yes – YOU were in power. And that was a cause for major celebration for the people. The people, who had for so long demanded a clean and young government that could realize the true potential of the great country of India. One that could get India get out of its bottom 150+ position in the “place to live in” index and would catapult it to the top 5.

It had not been an easy path for them. They had slogged it out for the last 5 years against the might of the established parties and their goondas, against the money of the corrupt, against the mindsets of people from the deepest of village and against their own self-apprehensions. But the group of 545 people with the support of over 50000 educated youngsters and 5000 generous elders accomplished what none had even dreamed of before.

And to think it all started with a message some had put on one of those many social networks...

To Continue…

Dated
15 / 08 / 2???

Disclaimer: Whether the above is fictional or not is for the public to decide…

Those top 10 nostalgic moments

In this fast-paced world, I am sure every one of us, at various instances in our lives, would want to go back to our good old days, to relive those great moments of a care-free life! Though studying in a CBSE school meant you had to be on top of your books, there still was a lot of time for the joys of TV in the form of DD1 and DD2, the various comic books, special once-in-a-blue-moon restaurant visits, and the two and half months of summer vacation for planning out immense amount of activities and games! The following ten items stand out for me in terms of their experience...

1. DD1 & DD2 along with Mile Sur Mera, Ek Chidiya, 'Sorry for the interruption' and 'Over to Delhi' - The World this week by Prannoy Roy and SportsMag by Harsha Bhogle were much sought after on DD1: the former captured everyone's hearts in his calm and crystal-clear way of giving a snapshot of the world events for the past week while the latter had a superfast way of speaking English which made everyone sit up and get puzzled on who this newbie was! On DD2, Superhit Muqabla was fun to watch even if the top 10 song list never changed week after week. Of course, Mile Sur Mera starting with Bhimsen Joshi and the animated Ek Chidiya were ever popular. On the other extreme were the painful view of "Sorry for the interruption" or "Over to Delhi" just when you didn't want them!
   
2. 5 digit telephone numbers - 77438 was our house phone number. And I still remember all of my friends' numbers - since it was so easy remembering a 5 digit number! Nowadays, with the 10 digit cell phone numbers, I don't even remember my own number from a couple of years back! Even though those telephone instruments used to hurt the finger, specially if most of the numbers required a 270 degree motion of the dial, it gave you the satisfaction of talking to people instead of sending them SMS and scraps!
3. Home-made 'bakshanam' (sweets / savories) - That basically stands for uppu / vella seedai, murukku, thengozhal, ribbon, pakoda, thattai which were regularly done for many of the special occasions by my grandmas. No Grand Sweets, no Surya sweets then, to get packaged items. They were all done at home and could be consumed hot off the stove! Just the process of seeing them make it told us that there was a big occasion at home. And the festive spirit was invoked and enjoyed.
4. 'Big Fun' Bubblegum - This was a very guy thingie but collection of runs and wickets that came along with the bubblegum was such a big activity then. Exchange of those player profiles and getting those rare ones from the older guys was worth more than anything else in life! The more soiled the chits were, the greater their value! This was over and above the competition on the size of the bubble that one could blow using the bubblegum.
   
5. Hiring a cycle - At Re.1 per hour, it was a big deal then. Still, the joyous feeling going through the same roads over and over again along with friends despite the hot burning sun was sublime! Sometimes races turned ugly when one of the lot would fall down and hurt themselves. That would never deter us though from regrouping and utilizing the full value of the Re.1 spent!
6. Heman toys / Trade Games / Crazy Ball / Glow worm - Collection of Heman toys and stickers was a much sought after activity. G I Joe was another character that was popular! Long-winding trade games that went on for hours during summer holidays were widely anticipated events. To ensure we continued over multiple days, we even wrote down the exact status in our notebooks! The crazy ball that bounces in various angles and a glow worm that used to shine in the night were popular too, the latter specially amongst girls. Last but not the least, 3 - 5 hours of cricket (underarm / overarm / bowling etc.) were a standard feature every day, be it holidays or otherwise!
7. Tinkle / Tintin Comics - Those were the days of no internet and no Cartoon Network. So, Tinkle comics and Amar Chitra Katha ruled the roost. Phantom and Mandrake were also extremely popular amongst the boys. The good / bad ring and the charm of Xanadu are still not lost on me! Tintin and Asterix, borrowed for Rs. 2 from the lending library were even greater fun on account of their highly engaging stories. To this date, it is pretty expensive to own a Tintin or an Asterix comic book! The "Famous Five" and "Secret 7" were reserved for the only-English speaking dudes!
   
8. Writing with an 'ink' pen - Class 5 exposed us to an ink pen. Initially, stained fingers and shirts were painful to look at. But these signified the coming of age of us as students. We would look down on Class 4 students as if they were very junior compared to us. Ball-point pens were typically frowned upon by teachers. In this current computer age, it is sad that even writing with anything has become a such a rarity!
   
9. Camlin or Natraj Geometry box - Owning a Camlin or a Natraj geometry box, that too a fully-loaded one with Steadler pencils, a white eraser, a sharpener and all the geometry instruments shining without any rust, was a moment of pride. No one ever knew when a divider would ever be used but the compass and protracter were absolute necessities. It is another thing that Camlin was Aishwarya Rai's first ad shoot when she was in school!
10. Distributing chocolates on birthdays - This is probably an activity that continues to this day in schools, but dressing up in something outside of uniforms and distributing chocolates was a much anticipated activity, not just for the one whose birthday it was, but for the other children in school as well. The type of chocolate - whether it was an Eclairs, or a 'Try Me', or a 'Melody' typically signified social standing and willingness to incur expenditure on birthdays. Cadbury's 5 Rs. 'Dairy Milk' chocolates were reserved for the rich kids.
    

Well, writing about these does make me feel a lot younger when I visualize m. But it also makes me think I have grown so much older now since it looks like ages back when I was in school! It still is any day worth it just to think of these! We, or even our next generation, may never get to experience the same, but if only we could have a way to revisit the past, it would be fun!

Any more such moments, do add them in the comments...

Top 10 indications of the recession in your office

1. Your office toilet has extremely thin or hardly any tissue paper.
   
2. On your salary slip, the denomination is in “Paise”. And just to keep you in check now and then, the salary slip is pink in color.
   
3. People start disappearing from your office and you are told that they have taken a long sabbatical for various reasons.
4. Those remaining are asked to share seating space and computers to improve teamwork and bonding.
5. When their seating time is over, they double up as office boys and security.
6. Conference rooms are let out on rent
   
7. The smell in your office is different. It is the effect of a combo of no air-conditioning, absence of air-spray in the office and absence of deo sprays at your colleagues’ homes.
   
8. Food items in the canteen are served in ice-cream bowls, coffee is limited to 1 per person and resembles a tequila shot in size.
9. Office cabs look similar to those stunt vehicles where 20 are packed inside one Maruti car.
10. To escape the rot, you log into the top job sites and you are greeted with a perennial message “Site under maintenance”, while the business newspapers start carrying obituary and crossword puzzles instead of the jobs supplement.

Any more such signs, please feel free to add in the comments section!