The 3 Ladies of my life

(Disclaimer / Warning: Sentiment Attack in the offing!)

On the occasion of International Women’s day, I want to pay my tributes to the 3 women who have so painstakingly and meticulously made me what I am today - in an ungrudging manner. At times, it gets so ridiculous that I ask myself, ‘What did I ever do in my previous birth that I deserve this magical treatment from these 3 souls?’… I guess I am not the only one having this particular string of thoughts. Probably, a good part of ‘man’kind has similar thoughts too. And not for no reason…

God has created this remarkable woman race that way - to bring in patience, compassion and selfless love into this otherwise crude and aggressive world of men. Those grandmothers who pray and toil for the education of their grand kids… Those moms who multi-task more than the brightest of CEOs to take care of husband, kids and in-laws… Those wives who continue the tradition of the moms and grand-moms and compromise and sacrifice their career dreams, and put your baby to sleep so that you can continue your rise up the corporate ladder…

And these are the 3 great ladies in my life too…

Let us start off with the oldest of the lot, my paternal grandmom. ‘Keetha’ is what I named her when I was aged 3. Her actual name was Seetha and my not-so-legible diction created the name that I called her as! She was a renowned radio singer and had retired from active singing around the time I was born. I was the eldest grandson and the darling of the entire household. And more so for Keetha paati... She would always hold me and be around wherever I went. Keetha paati had a super stress on education given that was our only way to success in life as a poor family, and that sort of set the trend for my entire student life. Though she had probably never gone beyond her 10th Std. in school, she was my tutor for all subjects. If I had to be woken up at 4 am to do some last minute studying, she would ensure that I wake up with a cup of coffee to start the day with. She had the pride in her eyes when I got first in class even in a small assignment.

She had to take care of the entire household – from cooking, to managing the accounts, to running the household activities. Despite all the pressures and day-to-day difficulties that a typical lower middle class family had to endure, she always had a smile to cheer everyone up. The only time I saw her cry was when I stood first in school in my 10th Std. When I came running in to see her reaction, she was inside the puja room. I could see her sobbing softly in front of the deity. Those cries were of happiness, of an achievement that she felt was more than any of her own. I did reciprocate the tears many years later when she passed away after a prolonged fight against Parkinsons. It had pained me no end to see the hyper-active lady lying on the bed without being able to do much activity for many of her final years. When God took her away, I felt that he probably needed her compassion and energy to help the deprived people up there…

The same compassion and energy is visible in my mom too. She has to be the craziest person inhabiting this earth. She has this undying faith and love for her kids. Managing the triple role of daughter in law, wife and mom, she feels that her life revolves around making the people around her happy. Managing my 90 year-old granddad in a way only she understands... Managing the household tasks through the entire day, 365 days in a year, with a not so cooperative maid servant... Managing my over-worked dad's spiritual trips... All, while being away from her sons for the most part of the year is a tremendous achievement.

For her, the whole world comes to a standstill when her sons are around. Her ears become deaf to any request from us to stop doing anything for us. Suddenly from nowhere, food items will land around us. The AC would be on automatically when we come anywhere near the house. Her chronic back pain suddenly vanishes and she is able to effortlessly accomplish a million tasks at one go. To see such a lady smile for two days in a month is the least that the career focused guys of this generation can do. Whenever we get a chance, my brother and myself go to Chennai to just see the happiness in her face. The happiness that would not arise if you gave her a crore rupees, or make her live like a queen in Chennai, away from her sons. The mom she is, she understands the career aspirations of the so-called 'educated' class of this generation and keeps her feelings to herself... Luckily, she does have two very good daughters-in-law whom she can share her feelings with...

A lady with a fantastic mix of the traditional and the modern - my wife is the most beautiful lady on this earth. She is a lot more educated than women of the previous generation, so her career is certainly important to her. But it is certainly not as important as seeing me happy. Sometimes it pains me that she cannot pursue her banking interests sitting in Bangalore. She has accompanied me wherever my job has taken me to, so Bangalore it is, currently. She has adjusted her work interests to ensure we stay in the same city. For her, this world is me. And I know that she loves me a lot. And I love her a lot too...

As a modern woman, she has a mature mind for her age. She likes planning for the future. For a good life ahead. And has inculcated the Finance 101 lessons in a carefree person like me to help us save up for a bright time to look forward to. At the same time, there is still a small child inside her. I know that when we are ready to start a family, she has to bear and take care of one herself. And that is probably going to drain her energy even more than taking care of the household with me around (I am assuming our kid will certainly have some of my lazy qualities!). Whatever support I give her, which I will, she is going to physically and mentally be the center of the child’s ecosystem. And to continue running the household and taking care of the kid while having a successful corporate career - she needs to have abundant energy and will power to win... She certainly is the modern day embodiment of what my grand-mom and my mom were...

Three ladies… Many generations… Tons of compassion and will power... Mentally and emotionally the center of our lives…

I am sure that you all will be able to relate to some, if not all of the above characters in your lives too. If you have also been lucky enough, then take a moment off to thank them for that. If you have not, it is high time that you go out into the real world and find your true love at least…

(P.S: It feels good to have written this article finally. To single out one day in a year for celebrating the greatness of women is not fair to the impact they have on our lives. However, it does help in poking the lazy bums like me to at least write something on that one day. And probably poke some other lazy bums in passing a long pending bill in the Parliament…)

(P.S 2: There are a lot more ladies that have had a great impact on my life and I am thankful to every one of them. My grandma from my mom side, my aunts from both dad and mom side, my cousin sisters and bro's wife, my wife's mom and sis, tons of my friends and friends' spouses, colleagues, blog followers etc. The 3 that I have called out in this article are the ones that I have had the longest association with...)

Happy 60th Birthday Rajinikanth

Rajini the Thalaiver,
Stylish and clever,
At any age, you tire never,
Happy birthday, forever...

In honor of a special 60th birthday, here are the Top 5 lists of various types of movies of Thalaiver. The same is available here on Twitter.

• Top 5 Rajini Style / All-time Best Movies - (1) Baasha (2) Padayappa (3) Shivaji (4) Muthu + Moondru Mugam (5) Thalapathi (#) Other Mentions - Annamalai, Mannan
  
  
• Top 5 Rajini Acting Movies - (1) Thalapathi (2) Netri Kann (3) Engeyo Ketta Kural (4) Gayathri (5) Raghavendra (#) Other Mentions - Bhairavi, Peddarayudu (Telugu), Bhuvana Oru Kelvikuri, Thappu Thalangal
  
  
• Top 5 Rajini Comedy Movies - (1) Thillu Mullu (2) Guru Sishyan (3) Mannan (4) Velaikkaaran (5) Arunachalam (#) Other Mentions - Maappillai
  
  
• Top 5 Rajini Senti Roles - (1) Engeyo Ketta Kural (2) Naan Adimai Illai (3) Yejaman (4) Dharmadurai (5) Anbullah Rajinikanth (#) Other Mentions - Gaayathri
  
  
• Top 5 Rajini Action Movies (1) Thalapathi (2) Naan Sigappu Manithan (3) Murattukalai (4) Siva (5) Kodi Parakkudhu (#) Other Mentions - Pokkiri Raja
  
  
• Top 5 Rajini Music Movies - (1) Johny (2) Ninaithaale Inikkum (3) Baasha (4) Muthu (5) Thalapathi (#) Other Mentions - Rajathi Raja, Uzhaippali
  
  
• Top 5 Rajini Thinking Movies (1) Chandramukhi (2) Netrikann (3) Priya (4) Naan Sigappu Manithan (5) Annamalai (#) Other Mentions - Mr. Bharath
  
  
• Top 5 Rajini Romance Movies (1) Pudukavidhai (2) Veera (3) Thambikku Endha Ooru (4) Yejaman (5) Velaikkaran (#) Other Mentions - Gayathri
  
  
• Top 5 Rajini Negative Roles - (1) 16 Vayathinile (2) Moondru Mudichu (3) Thappu Thalangal (4) Apoorva Ragangal (5) Polladhavan
  
  
• Top 5 Rajini Duds :( (1) Baba (2) Bloodstone (3) Valli (4) Kuselan + Pandiyan (5) ALL HINDI (#) Other Mentions - Adhisaya Piravi, Kodi Parakkudhu, Maaveeran

Any more list ideas or any more additions to existing lists, please do add...

Top 10 Doordarshan TV moments from back then...

In honor of the twitter trend #youremember here is a list of the top 10 Videos (thanks to Youtube) of the yesteryears. Each of these videos signifies something special... Something that a lot of Indians of that generation could relate to... Something that a lot of us could enjoy, whenever we saw them since there was not much choice of channel or content. Here's to reliving those days...

1. Mile Sur Mera Tumhara - This one needs no introduction. When the torch gets passed from cricket player to cinema star to everyone else across the spectrum, and finally when the tricolor comes on screen with the fantastic musical score in the background, there are certain goosebumps any living Indian would get. (And here is a post on what if Mile Sur Mera Tumhara was redone today)
   
2. Jungle Book Title Song - The jungle boy jumping around with his animals with a nice kid singing in the background was one of the earliest cartoons that came on our TV screens.
   
3. Ek Chidiya - A simple concept of unity in diversity, explained by a brother sister animated combo with a fantastic tune.
4. Hamara Bajaj - This was just an ad. But it was for the Bajaj scooter, which was part and parcel of Indians' live. The 'Hamara Bajaj' background score indicated something more, something special that gave the feeling of national pride.
   
5. Doordarshan Montage - The first sign of the day's TV starting, and a sign of it ending. The iconic music is etched in our memories, thanks to the many movies that symbolically indicate the day's start using this one tune.
6. Heman / Spiderman - TV was our biggest friend, far ahead of books. And Heman raising his sword to the sky and the 'friendly neighbourhood Spiderman' going across from building to building to the two distinctive background scores were guys' favorite shows at that time. In the era of cable TV, WWF wrestling came to serve guys' needs better!
7. Didi's Comedy Show - Nonstop nonsense was what the title said. And it was true to that. And it made you laugh like hell. If there was one guy, who could make you laugh without any words said, it was this German guy. He never spoke. And his actions were terribly funny. The ending bit of the show where there is a phase-lagged 4 screens on your screen at the same time are just about awesome!
   
8. Superhit Muqabla (could not find a video) - Though Oliyum Oliyum in its Tamil avatar and Chitrahaar in its Hindi avatar served us for many years, Superhit Muqabla was something special. There was the twist of a countdown, a model for a veejay and the latest songs from the latest films. And of course, it was on the special channel - DD2!
9. Mahabhaarat - Everyone knew the story, but one set of arrows fighting another formed spectacular graphics at that stage, enough to make everyone glued to their TV screens. And the start of the epic show was the title track which got translated into multiple languages as well along with the show itself.
   
10. The World this Week (jump to after the first minute in video) - When a young half-bald Prannoy Roy came on the screen and showed us bits and pieces of bombings across the world or Australian cricket with stump cameras and floodlights and colored clothing, people were amazed and wanted to watch the half hour show though it was only once a week and at a really late hour.

If you know of any other videos, please do include those in the comments section.

P.S: I have not directly embedded the videos since that would have made the page terribly long...

Remembering the Diwali, of a long time ago...

“Tring Tring”. Rang the phone bell.

I woke up startled from my sleep cursing the phone. My mom came into the room and handed me the device. It was my paati* on the phone. I got up, still in a trance. And glanced around to get a glimpse of the time. It was 10:30 am. And there was just a feeble sound of firecrackers in the distance.

It was Diwali day, I realized. I wished my paati & thaatha ‘Happy Diwali’ and tried to get back to my sleep. But I could not. Lying down on my bed, I started wondering… Wondering about those Diwalis many years ago

I was probably in my 3rd standard, when the earliest memories of Diwali strike me. It was my paati who would light the first pattasu* in the house. 3:00 am was always the time. It was a custom followed for many years. We would all wait eagerly for the sound of that first one. It was our cue to wake up. And pronounce to the whole world that we were the first in the locality to wake up. There was a big competition in the neighborhood for being the early bird. The earlier the time you could state, the more your social standing was for the day.

In the next room, I could hear my mom shouting out to me to wake up. This was probably her 20th call out to me. I had obviously not paid heed to any of it earlier and was blissfully sleeping on my bed. My father was banging on my bedroom door to force me out of bed as well.

In those days, we had to run around the house and create a racket to wake up everyone. We would shout out to our parents to wake up. We would always wonder how they did not share the same enthusiasm to wake up and burst crackers. My dad would be the problem child. He just did not feel the importance to wake up early. I would do my level best to wake him up to make him ready along with us by around 4 am at the least. But the earliest he would have probably seen was 7 am.

As I woke up and brushed my teeth, I called out to my mom to put my dress in the bedroom so I that I could use it. I was just about to pick up the soap and shampoo for taking bath when my mom called out to come to the puja room to get the dress. I was too lazy to walk out and refused to oblige.

If there was one part about Diwali that I hated then, it was the oil on the head bit, and something worse – the black colored Diwali medicine called the ’legiyam’*. A drop of oil is all that I would get on my head. And there was absolutely no way that the black colored semi-solid legiyam was getting into my mouth. A sound of irritation, turning the face the other side, running around so that no one could catch me, holding my breath so that I could keep the thing in my mouth and spit it out later – all these were the tried, tested but unsuccessful methods of not having the dark concoction. On the other side, the new dress was our pride for the day. The same dress would also be used the next day in school for showing around on the one occasion when students were not required to come in white and blue.

After taking bath, I dressed up and came outside. My eyes immediately went towards the boxes of sweets that were lying around. The variety was pronounced. Laddoos, mysore pak, badhushah, mixture, thattai* and more assorted sweets. ‘Grand Sweets’, ‘Surya Sweets’, and ‘Krishna Sweets’ read out the sweet boxes. A solitary bowl of home-made semiya payasam* was lying next to these boxes.

The sweet / savories making process in those days started more than a week ahead of the actual festival date. Elaborate arrangements were made to source the various types of dough to make the home-made delicacies. My grandma’s mysore-pak was a super specialty. So also her thengozhal*. My mom and aunts would help her make all the items for all the households. Just watching them gave the feeling of the approaching festivities. And the sampling of the items was a fantastic opportunity to get your mouth full of lip-smacking sweet dishes. All the items had to be home-made.

As I walked around the house, I could hear the sound of the pattimandram* on Sun TV in the background. My dad was laughing out at how Solomon Pappaiya* was summarizing the discussion. I picked up the paper to see what new movies were getting released – only one Surya movie called ‘Aadhavan’. Rest all, absolutely junk.

I remember one of those last few exciting Diwalis when Manirathnam’s Roja was released. Along with Kamalhassan’s Devar Magan. I think I was in the 9th standard then. We were all taking the customary break from firecrackers for the special screening of ‘Oliyum Oliyum’ on Doordarshan. This was the programme where they were going to play the latest movie songs from the flicks that were getting released that day. We were looking out for the name of Ilayaraja on the movie banner that they displayed for the movie ‘Roja’. Some ‘new actor and actress’, someone claimed. ‘A.R. Rehman’ displayed the banner. ‘Who was this new music guy’, someone remarked… And then started ‘Chinna Chinna Aasai’ and all of us were glued to the TV, mesmerized…

I then took the one single 56 wallah Red Fort and the box of matches lying next to it. I went outside and the street was more or less calm. There was still that firecracker noise from the distance, not so far away as was the case when I was in bed, but still some distance away. I kept the cracker on the ground, lighted the match-stick first, then used that to light one of the multiple threads that was sprouting out from the red-colored pieces of gun-powder that were just about to blow up. I could hear the sound, this time much closer, as I turned my back and started walking back home.

The ordering process for the firecrackers was a mammoth exercise. We were given a budget to work towards. This hovered from around Rs. 150 upwards of Rs. 400 sometimes. Finalizing on the combination was an exercise in optimization. Finalizing on the supplier was an exercise in keeping your ears and eyes wide open for the cheapest deals. The Rs. 10 packets of loose bijilis and the roll cap along with the toy pistol formed the starters for the 7-course sumptuous fire-cracker spread. Other parts of this included the flower-pots very early in the morning when it was still dark, the Lakshmi / Sparrow single bursts around dawn, the atom / hydrogen bombs around early morning, the red-forts later in the morning, the innovatively used coconut shells around various types of firecrackers in the afternoon and the flower-pots and the rockets reappearing in the night to close out the bursting sessions. We also stored a few items for the upcoming Karthikai Deepam*. Out of the 24 hours in a day, a good part of 15 hours would be spent amidst the bang-bang sounds.

I then went up and took out my laptop from my bag. As I logged on to the internet, I could see a whole lot of status messages on Diwali wishes. This was from my world wide web of friends and relatives. I could also see a lot of SMS wishes on my phone that was sitting on the side. I started typing out my own Diwali poem for me to send out to the hundreds of my contacts across Facebook, Twitter, and my mobile.

The one break we took in the afternoon from bursting was to go meet all the relatives around. This started with my uncles / aunts and culminated in my other grandma / grandpa’s house. Across all of these houses, we were fed more sweets and other delicacies. We were also given the remaining firecrackers that were not utilized, especially in the homes of the elderly. We were also supposed to burst a couple of crackers in those houses where there was no young one. Diwali was an occasion to go meet all these folks. And to exchange pleasantries… The contacts-circle was typically limited to people staying within 1 km of you…

As I finished typing out my messages across these various sites, I started wondering what was it that had changed in my celebrating this wonderful festival across all these years... I guess it was around the 11th standard when I suddenly lost my excitement for bursting crackers. And now, it was another holiday off from work, to take rest at home. I realized that most of us have grown up. And priorities have changed. This is probably true of our fathers when we were kids. And it is probably true of our kids when we grow up too.

But remembering those moments always brings out that smile in me. After all, this is what nostalgia is about. And that is what gives you ultimate fun when you think of those years gone by… Those years, when no one was too old, to wake up early and start bursting firecrackers at 3 a.m. in the morning…


*Key (Tamil Words)

• Paati = Grandma
  
• Thaatha = Grandpa
• Pattasu = Firecracker
• Legiyam = Semi-solid concoction of medicinal herbs
• Badhushah & Semiya payasam, Thengozhal & Thattai = South Indian Sweets, Savories respectively
• Pattimandram = Debate; Solomon Pappaiya = Moderator of the debate
• Karthikai Deepam = Festival in November / December where houses are completely lit in the night
  

Those top 10 nostalgic moments

In this fast-paced world, I am sure every one of us, at various instances in our lives, would want to go back to our good old days, to relive those great moments of a care-free life! Though studying in a CBSE school meant you had to be on top of your books, there still was a lot of time for the joys of TV in the form of DD1 and DD2, the various comic books, special once-in-a-blue-moon restaurant visits, and the two and half months of summer vacation for planning out immense amount of activities and games! The following ten items stand out for me in terms of their experience...

1. DD1 & DD2 along with Mile Sur Mera, Ek Chidiya, 'Sorry for the interruption' and 'Over to Delhi' - The World this week by Prannoy Roy and SportsMag by Harsha Bhogle were much sought after on DD1: the former captured everyone's hearts in his calm and crystal-clear way of giving a snapshot of the world events for the past week while the latter had a superfast way of speaking English which made everyone sit up and get puzzled on who this newbie was! On DD2, Superhit Muqabla was fun to watch even if the top 10 song list never changed week after week. Of course, Mile Sur Mera starting with Bhimsen Joshi and the animated Ek Chidiya were ever popular. On the other extreme were the painful view of "Sorry for the interruption" or "Over to Delhi" just when you didn't want them!
   
2. 5 digit telephone numbers - 77438 was our house phone number. And I still remember all of my friends' numbers - since it was so easy remembering a 5 digit number! Nowadays, with the 10 digit cell phone numbers, I don't even remember my own number from a couple of years back! Even though those telephone instruments used to hurt the finger, specially if most of the numbers required a 270 degree motion of the dial, it gave you the satisfaction of talking to people instead of sending them SMS and scraps!
3. Home-made 'bakshanam' (sweets / savories) - That basically stands for uppu / vella seedai, murukku, thengozhal, ribbon, pakoda, thattai which were regularly done for many of the special occasions by my grandmas. No Grand Sweets, no Surya sweets then, to get packaged items. They were all done at home and could be consumed hot off the stove! Just the process of seeing them make it told us that there was a big occasion at home. And the festive spirit was invoked and enjoyed.
4. 'Big Fun' Bubblegum - This was a very guy thingie but collection of runs and wickets that came along with the bubblegum was such a big activity then. Exchange of those player profiles and getting those rare ones from the older guys was worth more than anything else in life! The more soiled the chits were, the greater their value! This was over and above the competition on the size of the bubble that one could blow using the bubblegum.
   
5. Hiring a cycle - At Re.1 per hour, it was a big deal then. Still, the joyous feeling going through the same roads over and over again along with friends despite the hot burning sun was sublime! Sometimes races turned ugly when one of the lot would fall down and hurt themselves. That would never deter us though from regrouping and utilizing the full value of the Re.1 spent!
6. Heman toys / Trade Games / Crazy Ball / Glow worm - Collection of Heman toys and stickers was a much sought after activity. G I Joe was another character that was popular! Long-winding trade games that went on for hours during summer holidays were widely anticipated events. To ensure we continued over multiple days, we even wrote down the exact status in our notebooks! The crazy ball that bounces in various angles and a glow worm that used to shine in the night were popular too, the latter specially amongst girls. Last but not the least, 3 - 5 hours of cricket (underarm / overarm / bowling etc.) were a standard feature every day, be it holidays or otherwise!
7. Tinkle / Tintin Comics - Those were the days of no internet and no Cartoon Network. So, Tinkle comics and Amar Chitra Katha ruled the roost. Phantom and Mandrake were also extremely popular amongst the boys. The good / bad ring and the charm of Xanadu are still not lost on me! Tintin and Asterix, borrowed for Rs. 2 from the lending library were even greater fun on account of their highly engaging stories. To this date, it is pretty expensive to own a Tintin or an Asterix comic book! The "Famous Five" and "Secret 7" were reserved for the only-English speaking dudes!
   
8. Writing with an 'ink' pen - Class 5 exposed us to an ink pen. Initially, stained fingers and shirts were painful to look at. But these signified the coming of age of us as students. We would look down on Class 4 students as if they were very junior compared to us. Ball-point pens were typically frowned upon by teachers. In this current computer age, it is sad that even writing with anything has become a such a rarity!
   
9. Camlin or Natraj Geometry box - Owning a Camlin or a Natraj geometry box, that too a fully-loaded one with Steadler pencils, a white eraser, a sharpener and all the geometry instruments shining without any rust, was a moment of pride. No one ever knew when a divider would ever be used but the compass and protracter were absolute necessities. It is another thing that Camlin was Aishwarya Rai's first ad shoot when she was in school!
10. Distributing chocolates on birthdays - This is probably an activity that continues to this day in schools, but dressing up in something outside of uniforms and distributing chocolates was a much anticipated activity, not just for the one whose birthday it was, but for the other children in school as well. The type of chocolate - whether it was an Eclairs, or a 'Try Me', or a 'Melody' typically signified social standing and willingness to incur expenditure on birthdays. Cadbury's 5 Rs. 'Dairy Milk' chocolates were reserved for the rich kids.
    

Well, writing about these does make me feel a lot younger when I visualize m. But it also makes me think I have grown so much older now since it looks like ages back when I was in school! It still is any day worth it just to think of these! We, or even our next generation, may never get to experience the same, but if only we could have a way to revisit the past, it would be fun!

Any more such moments, do add them in the comments...